There's nothing quite so satisfying as beating a game and seeing those wonderful end credits
roll.
You did it, champ.
You're the best!
If you love that feeling, though, there are some games you should never play - games that
are either so hard, so badly made, or so intentionally irritating that almost no one ever finishes
them.
Think you've got what it takes, hot shot?
Then you've probably never played these video games barely anyone has beaten.
Battletoads
More than a quarter century after its release, Battletoads' difficulty is still the stuff
of myths, with the 1991 NES release frequently being cited among the hardest games of all
time.
And for good reason.
Not only was the side-scroller almost impossible in one player mode, it actually got harder
in co-op mode, as friendly fire meant you often accidentally killed your own partner.
Why did they make the game so hard?
According to Nerdist, it was because, at the time, many gamers were renting cartridges
from video stores instead of buying them, because the games could be beaten with just
a couple days effort.
"You'd rather be playing video games.
You can rent them from Blockbuster!
They've got more of the coolest from Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Sega Genesis games to
rent than anyone in the world."
So Nintendo intentionally ratcheted up difficulty, hoping if the game took much longer to beat,
players would be more likely to buy it instead.
That… almost makes sense?
Takeshi's Challenge
Though it was never released in America, Takeshi's Challenge gave fits to Japanese NES fans in
1986.
The "Takeshi" in question was actor/director Takeshi Kitano, a Japanese celebrity who helped
design the game.
He thought it would be funny to defy gaming conventions by placing all sorts of counter-intuitive
weirdness into the mechanics, leading to bizarre things like a stage where you have to sing
karaoke into the second controller's microphone, and a dialogue branch that causes you to lose
the game during the opening cinematics.
Legend also has it that there's a simple cheat code at the opening screen that allows you
to skip the entire game, but it involves hitting the A button over 20,000 times.
Sounds like a ton of fun.
Super Meat Boy
Released in 2010, Super Meat Boy was created as an intentional throwback to the crazy-hard
games of our youth.
The game's great replay function even allows you to watch all your failed efforts at once,
overlapped so you can see the beautiful patterns of your grisly deaths.
Needless to say, Super Meat Boy is one of the hardest games released in recent memory,
and fans love it for that very reason.
In fact, according to Steam's Global Gameplay stats for the PC version, a measly 2.3% of
players have achieved 100 percent completion on it.
Maybe they should rename this game "Super Incomplete Boy."
Ghosts 'N Goblins
If you've ever been bathed in the fires of the Nintendo Entertainment System, chances
are you've experienced the test of wills known as Ghosts 'N Goblins.
First released in 1986, this side-scrolling platformer follows the adventures of Arthur
as he battles the undead to save Princess Prin Prin from Satan.
Pretty hardcore!
Well, the gameplay was even more hardcore.
Players die in two hits, and when they lose a life, they are returned to the start of
the level - or the midpoint, if they were lucky enough to make it that far.
There's no way to save your progress, meaning that if you lose, you have to start the entire
game over - and when you do finally beat the last boss, surprise!
Turns out he's a decoy, and you have to run through the entire game a second time at a
higher difficulty level - and on the same playthrough - in order to get to the real
ending.
It kind of makes you rethink this whole gaming thing.
"Shall we play a game?"
"Ohh…"
Ninja Gaiden
1988's Ninja Gaiden likely resulted in extra profits for Nintendo, since players had to
replace their NES controllers after throwing them against the wall in frustration.
A classic sidescroller, Ninja Gaiden has the added fun of the hero frequently getting knocked
off platforms to his death by just about any attack, whether it's from ninjas, soldiers,
dogs, or even random hawks.
Considering the obscene number of enemies also respawn, making any progress is nearly
impossible, and if you do manage to get to the end somehow, you then have to defeat three
bosses in a row without dying.
Becoming a ninja in real life and taking out actual criminals may be easier than finishing
Ninja Gaiden!
"Game over."
Super Hexagon
2012's Super Hexagon couldn't look more simple.
You control a small triangle caught in the middle of a hexagon, pentagon, or square.
Each side of the polygon has an opening, and all you have to do is guide your piece to
the exit while the shape shrinks around you.
Succeed, and you'll find yourself in the middle of another hexagon.
Survive for 60 seconds to unlock the next difficulty, and keep going until you've successfully
outlasted each level.
Easy, right?
Well, apparently not, as less than 5% of PC players have managed to get to the ending.
It just goes to show that simple is not necessarily the same as easy.
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