PLEASE LIKE, SHARE, SUBCRIBE video! Thank you very much!
For more infomation >> ASA SOMBU ROHAM (Official Video Lirik) - Lely Tanjung - Duration: 4:53. 
- Doo-dloo-dloo-dloo--
- Once upon a time, Studio C did a compilation
of all of their fairy tale sketches.
- And you watched it.
- And you lived happily ever after.
- 'Cause it was awesome.
- Enjoy.
[high five]
♪♪
Announcer: Introducing the Three Most Excellencies,
the Three Good Fairies!
Mistress Flora, Mistress Fauna,
and Mistress Merryweather.
[magical music]
- Each of us the child may bless with a single gift.
No more, no less.
♪♪
Little princess, my gift is the gift of beauty.
["Once Upon a Dream" instrumental plays]
♪♪
[feet pattering]
- Tiny princess, my gift will be the gift of song.
[angelic voices singing]
[silence]
- I am so sorry, I misunderstood.
[clears throat]
It's a pack of onesies.
- Fauna, what in the world?
- I'm sorry, I guess I missed the memo
we were giving her attributes.
Merryweather: Just think of one you can give her now.
- Any attribute?
There's so many to choose from!
- Fauna, come on.
You're making us look bad.
- The gift of sight!
- She already has sight.
Give her something she doesn't have.
Fauna: The gift of a tail?
- No.
No.
- Um, the gift of being able to sneeze with your eyes open?
- What the, why would you say that?
- I just read an article that said that it's impossible
and I want her to reach for the stars.
- Fauna, something else.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize how great of gifts beauty and song are.
What, are your largest dreams for her to become Miss America?
- Just calm down.
Try again.
- Fine.
The gift of never needing to bathe.
- Gross.
- The gift of double-jointed elbows.
- No, no.
Fauna: The gift of gluten tolerance.
Flora: What?
- The gift of being able to find great shoe sales.
- Oh! - No!
Fauna: Um, the gift of being able to pull off blunt bangs.
Queen: I had that gift once.
- Uh, no, she did not.
- The gift of being homely, that she may have a good home.
- That's not what homely means.
Fauna: The gift of having giant biceps!
- No.
- The gift of never needing to shave your legs.
- Oh, that's actually pretty good.
Fauna: Because you don't mind the hair.
- Ugh.
- Did you ever get gifts growing up?
Fauna: The gift of having many Twitter followers.
Flora: Fauna.
- No wonder Santa Claus fired you.
Fauna: The gift of having your own reality TV show.
- Fauna.
- The gift of waking up exactly one minute before
your alarm clock.
- Fau-au-na!
- The gift of being an assertive woman
and not intimidating men.
Flora and Merrywhether: Ah, yeah!
Queen: Yes!
- No!
No!
- The gift of saving 15% or more on car insurance.
- No!
- The gift of being able to pick your nose at an intersection
and never being caught even when you dig down
really deep.
- Enough!
Just give her the gift of grace or poise
or the ability to answer questions that--
Oh, I see where the Miss America thing comes in now.
♪♪
[loud crash]
[ominous music]
Flora: Oh, no!
Maleficent has come to curse the babe.
- Good thing Fauna hasn't bestowed her gift yet.
Maybe she can counter the curse.
- Was this a curse thing?
Oh.
I brought onesies.
Fauna: Oh!
That is very cute!
Cute!
Did you get it too?
It was on their registry, right?
- [gasps]
- Cute!
♪♪
- ♪ Once upon a time in a land filled with flowers. ♪
[popping]
I said filled.
[rapid popping]
♪ Lived a king and a queen and their daughter. ♪
♪ She was cursed, you see, when she turned 18. ♪
♪ She got ugly instead of hotter. ♪
- Now that I am of marrying age,
I must choose a husband.
- Good thing you're rich.
- ♪ Then who should appear but a man with a beard ♪
♪ who proudly proclaimed: ♪
- I volunteer.
Narrator: ♪ She gave him her hand, ♪
♪ he gave her his shoulder. ♪
[groaning]
♪ And quickly, they left to be wed. ♪
[explosion]
♪ But the king did forget an important secret, ♪
♪ so the queen leaned over and said: ♪
- Darling, that's the wizard who cursed our daughter.
- Whoopsies.
- ♪ The king then petitioned every knight for a mission ♪
♪ to rescue the ugly young lass. ♪
♪ The knights all agreed she was far too ugly, ♪
♪ so together they said: ♪
Knights: We'll pass.
- I'll do it.
Narrator: ♪ This sobering tale-- ♪
I'm sorry, what?
- I'll rescue the princess.
- You?
- Me.
- You.
- Me!
- Really?
- Why is that so hard to believe?
- You're sickly, untested, and frail.
- Nonetheless, I can fight as well as our strongest knight.
- Oh, really?
♪ Then someone punched you in the gut. ♪
[groaning]
- Oh, why?
- To prove a point.
♪ And no one lived happily ever af-- ♪
- I'm going.
- ♪ Someone kicked you. ♪
- Oh, no!
Ow!
I'm saving the princess and you can't stop me.
- We'll see about that.
- Bring it on.
- ♪ The hero met a thief who caused him some grief ♪
♪ and stabbed him in the gut. ♪
- Ah!
[groans]
That didn't even rhyme.
- Three dollars, really?
- I'm poor, wh--
Narrator: ♪ The next task he should face ♪
♪ would start at the base of a mountain ♪
♪ which he would climb. ♪
- Oh, my kidney.
- ♪ While holding his breath. ♪
- I'm gonna breathe.
You can't make choices for me.
I'm the protagonist.
- Well I'm the narrator!
♪ Then his legs stopped working. ♪
- Oh.
[groans] I hate you.
- ♪ While he lay helpless, completely defenseless, ♪
♪ a troll came along feeling hungry. ♪
[growls]
♪ The troll swung his club to grab him some grub ♪
♪ and hit the dumb knight o'er the head. ♪
- Stab!
[growls]
He-he!
Still got my sword!
- ♪ 'Til your arms stopped working. ♪
- Come on.
- You had enough?
- Never!
- ♪ Then you contracted the plague. ♪
- [groans]
- ♪ Then you were shot by an arrow. ♪
- Ooh!
- ♪ Then your mouth tasted like a foot. ♪
- [gags]
- ♪ A diseased foot. ♪
- [gags louder] I'm coming, Princess!
- ♪ You sure are determined despite all the hassle. ♪
- They magically appeared at the dark wizard's castle.
- I can't believe that worked.
Wizard: What is going on?
- It's one of my father's knights.
- Yes.
I've come to rescue-- whoa!
You are not ugly anymore.
- The curse was lifted, but I didn't think
anyone would try to save me when I was hideous.
- Well, that was the plan.
- Sorry.
I tried.
- All right, wizard, let's fight to the death.
I may not be able to use my arms and legs,
but I'm not afraid to do this!
- Oh.
- Oh my.
- [small growling noises]
[shrieks]
- Cast a spell or something.
- I only know how to make people ugly.
- Do that then.
- Sha'nasty!
- Oh.
Am I hideous?
- You look the same.
- Well, there's only so much I can do.
- Wizard, we're through.
I want to marry this man.
- Figures.
- ♪ So the two started courting ♪
♪ with much joy and much laughter. ♪
♪ And they both lived happily ever after. ♪
♪ She punched him in the face. ♪
Prince: At last!
The tower of Rapunzel!
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!
- Hey, what's going on, bro?
- I'm sorry, I'm looking for Rapunzel.
- Yeah.
That's me.
Prince Rapunzel.
Hey, you can call me the 'Punz.
- Well, I've made a mistake.
I'm gonna get going.
The 'Punz: Oh wait, hey, man, do you like foosball?
You should come up real quick.
I've got a pool table and a remote control shark blimp.
And, oh, have you played the new Mario Kart?
- You have the new Mario Kart?
- Yeah!
You gotta try it, man.
The anti-gravity was so-ho not overhyped.
- I don't know, I have to quest and stuff,
so--
- Just come up for like five minutes.
I've got strawberry Nesquik.
- Strawberry Nes-- I love that stuff!
I'll come up, man!
Yeah!
- Really?
Awesome!
I'll throw down my hair!
Prince: All right.
Oh my--
What the, what?
- Awesome, man, come on up!
This is gonna be so great!
I haven't seen anybody since--
I've never seen anyone.
- Hey, the 'Punz?
Do you have another set of hair maybe lying around?
- Heh, pretty gnarly, right?
Yeah, I haven't cut it since I was born
and it's really long and hard to clean.
So I don't.
- Oh, okay.
It's just it's full of leaves and dirt and...
Is this a bag of Doritos?
- Man, I don't know what's in there, man!
Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos, all the -itos.
Hey, you wanna meet my hamster?
- Oh, that's disgusting!
[beeping]
Oh, it lives in there?
- Oh, come on up, bro.
The bagel bites are done.
- Bagel bites too, man?
Okay, yeah, I'll be up in a moment.
Whoo, you can do this.
You can do this.
Oh, it smells like a chimpanzee's body cast.
The 'Punz: Hey, what's taking so long, bro?
- It's just a little slippery.
I'll be right there.
- Did I not let down enough hair?
Prince: No, it seems plenty.
Oh!
No!
No!
[shrieks]
Oh, you got it in my mouth!
You got it in my mouth!
Oh, it's like swallowing a diaper.
Ohhh.
The 'Punz: Hurry up, dude!
Yoshi isn't gonna drive himself, man.
- Okay, okay.
[screams]
I think your hamster just bit me.
- Bro, I would ask you not to disturb him in his slumber.
He will be threatened.
Prince: Come on.
- Oh, hey, did you hurt yourself?
Touch my hair real quick.
- No, he's still in there!
The 'Punz: Just trust me, okay?
♪ Flower gleam and glow! ♪
♪ Let your power show! ♪
- Dude, what're you, this is weird.
What're you doing?
- Just hold it and I'll sing.
You can brush it if that helps.
- How is that less weird?
No, man, I'm just gonna use this Baid-Aid.
Nope, that's used.
I'm out of here.
- Wait, dude, what, no, why?
- Because you are the grossest thing
I have ever seen in my entire life!
I'm not climbing this hair, okay?
- All-all right, man.
Just, all right.
Just use my rope ladder.
- You had a rope ladder?
- Yeah.
You said, "Let down your hair,"
not, "Let down your rope ladder."
I live in a tower, dude, of course I have a ladder.
- Then throw down your rope ladder.
- Right on.
Huh-huh.
Awesome, man!
Yeah, now we can talk about like girls.
Like, what's a girl?
- Is this ladder made out of your hair?
- Yeah.
[applause]
[crickets]
[sobbing]
- [high-pitched] Ah, hello, my dear!
- Oh!
Oh, my goodness.
- Ah, what seems to be the trouble?
- The king, he says that unless I spin all this straw into gold,
he will have me killed.
- Oh, my!
Quite the predicament.
You know, I may be able to help.
- Oh, really?
That would be wonderful!
My name is Sarah, what's yours?
- Rumpelstiltskin.
Oh, shoot!
Oh, dang it!
Oh, totally!
Ah!
I can't believe I did that.
Fetch.
- Wh-what's wrong?
- It's just this thing.
I sometimes make deals with people
and then they want to back out of it later.
I'm like, that's fine, if you can guess my name.
But they never do 'cause it's crazy weird.
My parents were hippies.
- I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
I'll just have you guess my social or something.
- So, can you help me?
- Yes, yes!
But for a price.
- I'll give you anything you want.
- Oh?
Even your firstborn child?
- Deal!
- What? No!
What is wrong with you?
No one ever agrees to that.
It's just a mind game.
I'm not qualified to be a parent.
I live in the woods under a log.
It's not even a good log.
- Well too bad, we already shook on it.
- Are you kidding me?
You're holding me to this?
- What?
Bartering my child makes me a bad mother?
- Yes!
- Well, fine!
Deal canceled, then.
- No, no, it doesn't work that way.
Remember, you have to guess my name.
- Oh, that's right.
It was something weird.
- Mm-hmm.
- Is it Steve?
- What?
No.
- I give up.
- One guess?
- Yeah.
- Your unborn child is on the line
and you give up after one guess?
- So are you gonna spin all this straw into gold?
- Ugh.
Fine, I guess I have no choice.
To be honest, it's been a while since I've done this.
Does this plug into an outlet or?
Oh it's a manual, okay.
Primitive.
All right.
I gotta get some straw here.
Prepare to have your mind blown.
Here we go.
Spinnning.
Ah, I don't know how to do this!
- But you said!
- I know what I said!
Sometimes I overestimate my talents!
- Ugh!
Well, you better figure it out.
Do you want that firstborn child or not?
- No, I don't!
- But we made a deal!
Where's your integrity?
- My integrity?
You don't exactly have the moral high ground here.
You're trading your child like a baseball card.
- Ugh!
We don't have time for this!
- All right, fine, let me think,
you harpy.
Ugh.
This isn't easy, you know.
We're turning straw into a flipping metal.
- How hard can it be?
- How hard-- No, you're right.
I just have to change the atomic structure of the straw
through nuclear fusion.
Just let me get my centrifuge.
- Well, you better figure it out or else I'm gonna give you
my second child too.
- I'm not a daycare service!
All right, how about this?
I'll go apply for a loan, come back with the gold,
we'll spread it around and feed the straw to a cow?
- Fine.
- Ugh, I'm gonna have to take out a second mortgage on my log.
- Thank you, Rumpelbuttskin.
- Just call me Steve.
- Bye.
[applause]
Announcer: Today, my King, your son the Prince Peter
will choose his bride from amongst these fair maidens.
- Proceed, Prince Peter.
And may heaven bless you in your choice!
- Thank you, my King.
- May I present the Princess Lady McMavershim?
- Lady.
Announcer: The Princess Rose Everstain.
- Rose.
Announcer: And the Princess Theresa Madalini.
- You may call me Terry.
- Oh.
Miss Terry.
That every man in the kingdom adores your beauty
is no mys-terry, Miss Terry.
[giggles]
And Rose.
A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.
[giggles]
And dear Lady... Lady.
- Yeah.
- Lady is your first name?
Ah, ah.
Thou art a beautiful lady.
Announcer: And now the prince will choose.
- Ah, to choose.
But how can I choose when on the one hand, with you,
everything is coming up roses.
But what a Terry-ble mistake it would be not to choose you.
You who would make my life so Terry-fic.
And you are so...
ladylike.
I think it's between these two.
No offense, Lady, it's, your name is throwing me off.
- And now the prince will choose one for his bride.
- Ah, yes.
I must choose one and I will choose
she who has row-se of men lined up to marry her.
- The prince has chose--
- Whose beauty doth Terry my heart out.
- So which one?
- Hot as Terry-aki chicken.
King: Peter!
What is wrong with you?
What's with all the puns?
- I-I'm sorry, my King.
I, Father, I just get nervous.
It happens and I don't mean to, uh, Terry.
- Peter!
Which princess do you choose?
- I'm sorry!
I-I must choose before I p-put the whole room
into hys-terry-a.
But it will take more than a mic-rose-second.
When I first saw you, my heart nearly f-rose.
But I also felt it in my ar-terries.
King: Enough!
Choose, now!
Prince Peter: Yes, I'm sorry!
I will choose!
I have chosen!
And I will forever show her off to my b-rose.
You make me weak in the knees,
like osteopo-rose-sis.
Would you accept my prop-rose-al?
If the opportunity ar-rose?
- Yes, my prince!
And my love for you will never Peter out.
- Oh!
- Wow.
You two make a lovely couple.
- My dear, you are so sweet.
As sweet as marmalade-dy.
[gasps] Oh!
I just thought of another one!
We have to start over!
Bring Lady back!
Oh, this is going to be so fun!
Okay.
Just hold on!
- Okay, I know how this looks,
and I'm sorry.
You see, these guys told me they were weaving
an invisible cloth and if you couldn't see the cloth,
well, supposedly, you were a fool.
And I hear myself saying that now.
But anyways, thank you, sir, for pointing that out to me.
I hope I haven't scarred you for life.
- All we wanted was a family outing
to see the royal parade.
And all we get is this crusty sovereign streaking!
Do you think my wife will ever want to see a parade again?
- My eyes!
- Sh-sh-sh.
- I think we should consider replacing the king!
Townspeople: Yeah!
- I mean, are you even fit to rule this kingdom?
- I am fit.
I promise I am.
- So there aren't any other odd behaviors or strange decisions
you want to tell us about?
- No.
I mean, nothing huge.
I may have burned all your spinning wheels.
Townspeople: What?
- But that was to protect my daughter
from being cursed by Maleficent.
- Our only export is textiles!
How are any of us going to survive after this?
- You can have my money.
I locked my wife in a tower years ago
because I heard she could spin straw into gold.
- Who told you that was possible?
- The girl's father.
- Is he some sort of alchemist?
- He was the town drunk.
[townspeople all exclaiming]
- To be fair, she did do it!
- That was me, you fool!
Me!
Rumpelstiltskin!
Aw, dang it!
Ah.
Get it together, Rumpels.
There, there.
- Our king is a reckless idiot!
I vote we remove him from his throne!
[townspeople agreeing]
- Think of all the good that I've done!
Remember how I rid the town of rats
by hiring the pied piper of Hamelin?
- But then you didn't pay the piper
so he took all of our children!
- Well, who likes children anyway?
[sobbing]
- Surely there must be someone in the royal family
fit to lead.
- I speak to my mirror and I murder people
who are prettier than me.
- I'm only a princess because I found a pea
under my mattresses.
- I used to be a frog.
- What kind of freak show is this?
[townspeople yelling]
- Listen to me, listen to me!
Everything's going to be all right because I've traded
the entire kingdom for this bag of magic bees.
- You, a-- Did he say beans or bees?
[buzzing]
[all screaming]
- Everyone hide!
The magic has enhanced their venom!
- My babies!
[thunder cracking]
- Oh, ancient mirror of mystery and wisdom!
Through fire and wind I summon thee!
Come forth!
[thunder cracks]
- What would'st thou know, mighty queen?
- Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who is fairest of them all?
- Ah, here we go again.
- Excuse me?
- I am an all-knowing mirror, yet you ask me
the same silly question every day.
I literally know the cure for cancer.
Just ask.
- Tell me who is most fair of them all
or I will dispose of you!
I am not about to be not most fair in all the land.
I have done unspeakable things to get these cheek bones.
- All right.
You, mighty queen, are the fairest of them all.
In this room.
Because I'm technically not a person.
- Enough.
Tell me if I'm more beautiful than Snow White?
- Snow White?
The 18-year-old with the perfect skin?
[laughs]
Honey child, you chose the wrong person
to compare yourself to.
Come on, now!
- I mean, I do yoga.
I work hard.
- Well, do you do yoga while aging backwards?
Because you competing
against things like time and gravity and more time.
- You're right.
I set impossible standards for myself.
- N-- I'mma be honest with you.
For real though, you look great for someone your age.
Which is like, 1000, give or take.
- It's very hard to keep up appearances.
I had to give up bathing suits about 300 years ago.
- Ooh, I know.
Happiest day of my life.
I-I--
[clears throat]
Hm. Yes. Ah.
- I am running out of options here.
All I can do is take out the competition.
- So it a, no offense, super-duper-duper old woman
is competing with an 18-year-old
with a high metabolism for pies,
there is something seriously wrong.
I mean, just don't compare apples and oranges.
Especially saucy apples with old, decrepit,
ancient, mean oranges.
- But without my beauty, what am I?
- Girl, without your beauty, you are, um--
Ooh.
Uh, that's a good point.
- You see?
I have done nothing with my life!
I'm nothing but skin and bone and a huge amount of duct tape.
- What?
Your true value, my queen, is on the inside.
Yes.
The inside.
- Do you really think so?
- I have no other idea where it could possibly be,
so yes.
- You're right.
Thank you, mirror.
- Yeah.
- I should just let me be me.
- Yeah, there we go!
[chuckles] Ooh.
Ooh, she look worse from the back.
[shudder]
- ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ♪
- Snow White.
- Yeah!
Okay.
- ♪ A dream is a wish-- ♪
- Cinderella!
- Yeah!
- Nice.
- They all have very high voices.
- They do.
- Fun fact.
Keep watching.
- Keep watching.
[bell ringing]
- And now a tale of sorts from the Brothers Grimm!
[cheering]
- Yeah!
- We have traveled far to bring you our newest tale.
- It is called Snow White.
[cheering]
And it goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was a young lady.
Woman: 'Old on, now.
What does "once upon a time" mean?
I mean, I'm no literary expert,
but I find that introduction a bit perplexing.
- Yeah.
Can anything be upon a time?
I mean, it's a conceptual metaphysical reference.
- Right, you can be on time, but not upon a time.
Yeah?
- What is this?
A story about someone who sits on a clock?
[laughter]
- I'd say the opening line feels a bit didactic to me.
- Yeah, I concur.
- Didactic?
Look, we're the writers here, so I think we'd be the ones
who knew how to begin a story.
- Quite!
- What's the phrase even mean?
I just get lost in all the prepositions.
- There's only one preposition.
- I think what my neighbor's trying to say
is that the motif of your story might get lost
in such a vague use of metonymy.
- I concur with that.
- What if you started the story
with "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away"?
- A galaxy?
- Then we'd at least know the story's fictional setting.
- Yeah, call me Ishmael.
- Ishmael?
- No, fool, it's the opening line!
- Oh, a direct first-person introduction would definitely
cause your audience to ponder
their extra-fictional relationship
to your protagonist.
- I concur 'oleheartedly.
Yeah.
- Do you understand anything we're saying?
- I concur.
- So no.
- What about the line,
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times?"
- 'Ow 'bout, "I'd never given much thought
to 'ow I would die?"
- Sounds annoying.
- No, I definitely concur.
- 'Ow 'bout: "'Arry Potter was an 'ighly unusual boy."
[all agreeing]
- Or, "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man
in posession of--"
- I'm just gonna stop you there.
I'm already bored.
- I've got it.
"In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit."
- What on earth is a hobbit?
- I don't know.
You're the writers.
- Well, gentlemen, I think we're all agreed you need
to be willing to kill your darlings on this one.
- All right, I don't understand how you groundlings
seem to know so much about writing.
- Well, we read our share of street signs.
- And that makes you qualified?
- We're critics.
We don't need to be "qualified."
- No!
I can't stand for this.
When we're finished, every household
will know the phrase, "Once upon a time."
- Oh, that'll be the proverbial day!
[all booing]
- We can go where we are appreciated
for our aesthetic talent!
- Hmph!
- Say, brother, that hobbit line
did have a bit of potential.
Perhaps we could write a short story
and then stretch it into two, maybe three movies.
- I don't know what a movie is, but I concur.
- Quite.
Narrator: She can only be awoken by true love's kiss.
[magical music]
- Whoops!
Kissed your eyeball.
Sorry.
I got nervous and my eyes were closed.
So.
[clears throat]
To be perfectly honest,
I've never really kissed a girl.
So.
You know, especially one that's unconscious.
Uh, you are unconscious, right?
Okay, good.
No pressure, then.
[clears throat]
[magical music]
Mmm, I'm gonna have a mint.
You want a mint?
Let's have mints.
Yeah?
Okay.
Here we go.
Oh, look, last one.
I guess it's all mine.
Mmm.
Mm.
Um, so, is this true love's kiss thing like a peck
or one of those five minute things?
Do I just, like this?
Okay.
Okay.
[magical music]
[sniffs]
[yells]
Oh, oh, what is that?
Like a thousand years of morning breath?
Mmm.
I can't believe I'm out of mints!
Or am I?
No, that's gross.
But we are gonna kiss.
We haven't kissed yet, though.
[sighs]
You never have to know.
Just don't choke on it.
Actually, that's kind of a bad choking hazard.
Um.
Ugh.
Do you have a garbage or something?
I'm not gonna let it go to waste.
Oh!
Look, you got mouth wash.
Just use some of this.
Okay?
Okay.
Uh-huh.
And swish it around.
And spit.
Gross!
Ugh.
Okay, well, you know, no more blunders.
Here we go.
Yep. Okay.
[magical music]
[sneezes]
Oh, oh!
Gross!
Oh, it's on your face.
I don't want to kiss that.
I'm just gonna wipe it off.
Okay.
Uh.
Ahh!
[fire crackling]
Candle!
Fire!
[screaming]
How could I be this bad at kissing?
Okay.
Okay, Princess, come on.
[groaning]
Okay.
Whoo!
Okay.
One.
[grunts]
Ugh.
We can do this.
[grunts]
Okay.
[grunts]
Okay.
We're good.
Everything's.
You got a little...
Okay.
Okay.
Nobody saw that.
I can take that to my grave and still feel like a man.
Here we go.
[magical music]
[shrieks]
[kisses]
- No!
- My hero!
- For being asleep for so long, Princess,
your breath was absolutely minty fresh.
[laugh]
[spits]
- Hey, uh, Tom, Janice hired two new part timers,
so I need you to show one the ropes back here
while I show the other one front of house stuff.
- Okay, no problem.
- Okay, thanks.
Hi, yeah, come on in.
- Hello, I'm Gretel!
- Hi, I'm Tom.
Let me show you around.
Over here is where we mix up dough.
Okay?
Over here is our walk-in freezer.
- Ooh, it's cold.
- And right here is our oven.
- [screams]
[still screaming]
- I'm sorry, what's going on?
- Hansel!
Hansel, come here!
Oh.
- Vat is it, Gretel?
- It's... it's...
- [screams]
[both shrieking]
- Why does this keep happening?
- Guys, guys!
Guys, stop yelling!
[yelling softly]
- Why does this keep happening?
- You can stop that as well.
Okay?
- Sister, are you okay?
- I am fine, Hansel.
He did not ask me to climb into the oven.
Yet.
- Tell me.
What do you do desire with the oven?
- What?
- Answer me!
- It's just for cooking pizza, man.
- It is for cooking pizza and man?
- No, yeah-- No, not both!
- Zen vich is it you are cooking?
Pizza or man?
- Pizza, just pizza!
Okay?
- Okay, I'll be right with you.
Tom, we are getting swamped there.
Okay, normally, I would deal with this,
but we don't have time right now.
So just clean this all up 'cause if Janice gets here
and sees it, she's gonna be mad.
She can be a real witch sometimes.
Hansel and Gretel: A witch!
- Why does this keep happening to us?
- Why did I get sucked in by the candy dish
by the register?
- Oh, let's get out of here!
- Come, Gretel, we will follow the bread crumbs!
- Yes.
Vat have you done?
Now we must use Apple Maps!
- Ve're doomed!
[sobbing]
- That was weird.
- Oh, no, here comes Janice.
- Janice, I am so sorry about the mess.
The two new hires just quit.
- It's a shame.
I was looking forward to having them for dinner.
- You mean having them over for dinner?
- I said what I meant!
♪♪
- I can't believe it.
It's really you!
- Yes, it's me!
- I never thought I'd find you!
I've searched the whole kingdom.
- It fits me too!
- I'm sorry?
- Look, it fits!
- Gretchen, go away!
- What?
You think you're better than me
with your fancy house and your multiple teeth?
- I'm confused, who is this?
- Your future wife.
- No, Gretchen, I was the one he danced with at the ball.
- 'Ow does he know?
The woman he danced with had a makeover so intense
it literally required magic.
- She makes a fair point.
- This is ridiculous.
You weren't even at the ball!
- Sure I was.
- Prove it.
- Good idea, lowly servant girl.
Madam.
At the ball, was I wearing my white suit with gold button
and black knee-high boots,
or my pajamas?
- Suit!
- It's you!
- No, I would've said suit too!
- Well that's convenient
now that you already know the answer.
- I can prove it.
We danced.
You said I was pretty.
And then I left.
- Ah-ha!
We danced, I meant I was pretty,
and then the woman left.
Busted.
- That's exactly what I was gonna say.
- That proves it.
She's the one.
- Ooh!
- No, Gretchen!
You're ruining everything!
- Don't put this on me!
He's the one who hung a huge life decision
on footwear.
- It's very important to me that my queen
is small of feet and mind.
- You want irrefutable evidence?
I have the other slipper.
- [gasps]
- There can't be another slipper.
I was only wearing one because of me stub leg.
- Oh.
That explains why you were so bad at dancing.
- Hey!
- I think we're done here.
- No, Prince, I deserve to live happily ever after!
- [chuckles] You think marrying me will solve
all your problems and finally bring you happiness?
Well, you're right, I'm amazing.
Come, Gretchen.
- So long, Cinderella!
- Cinderella?
That was the name of the woman I danced with.
♪♪
- Cinderella's me middle name.
- Oh, there we go.
- 'Scuse me, hi.
So, uh, is this
where the fair maiden Snow White resides?
- Yes.
- Ah, great! Okay!
So I'm the prince and I've come to awaken her
with true love's kiss.
- Oh, well she's been out for quite a while.
- Oh, yeah?
How long has she been asleep?
- She's not asleep.
She's dead.
- What?
Oh.
- Yeah.
She's been dead for a long time.
I think she's starting to turn.
- I can...
I can still awaken her with true love's kiss.
- I mean, if you want to.
I mean, in hindsight, the glass was a mistake.
It's like a greenhouse effect in there.
It's nasty.
Good luck.
- Ahh.
I'm not that desperate.
Okay, I am that desperate,
and I hate how I know myself so well!
Okay, you know what?
This will just be a hilarious story
we tell our kids one day!
How we met.
Kissing a corpse.
But it'll be funny.
See, it's just one big funny story,
and we'll all laugh--
[groaning and gagging]
Sweet Caroline, that stench!
[gags]
It's lodged in my throat.
Okay.
Just a funny story.
Just one big funny--
[gagging]
[sighs]
Okay.
I just gotta figure out a way to get rid of that awful smell.
I could burn out my tastebuds.
Yeah, I don't need to enjoy food when I have a fair maiden
as my wife.
What about pineapple?
I love pineapple.
You know what?
I have some air freshener for when I need to use
a public restroom.
[aerosol can spraying]
[aerosol can spraying]
[snorts spray]
Oh, oh, whoo!
That stings.
But you know what?
You're kind of attractive after you get over the smell.
So hello, I'm the prince, and you are my new--
Ohhh! Oh!
Lookie here!
It's a severed limb!
Ah!
Oh, I'm sure that will just reattach when we kiss.
Okay, I hope you weren't left handed.
I'm just gonna prop you up now.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, hello, no.
Leave this here.
Leave this here.
Prep your mouth!
I'll prep you rmouth, okay?
[shrieks]
[whispered] Maggots.
Maggots.
[vacuum runs]
All right then.
Okay.
Okay, you can do this, Prince.
You got this.
This is just a girl.
A dead girl who kind of smells
like a wrestling mat birthed some roadkill.
But, you know, just get it over with.
It'll all be okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Yep.
Oh, well, let's just, okay.
Extra measures.
Hello.
Ohh, I don't know.
Okay, okay.
Just close your eyes and think of England.
Doc: Snow White, I love you!
- Ahh!
Oh!
Doc!
Oh.
- You can call me the love doctor.
- Come on!
- Well, you did kiss me, so I'm legally your property.
- Come with me.
[Snow White sings]
- I'm so lonely.
- Oh.
A dollar!
Nice.
Oh, no.
What, why?
Oh!
What are you?
Oh, oh, so gross.
What the?
I don't even have a shoe that matches this one.
Man, what else is lurking in this couch?
[grunts]
What the, holy?
Man.
This is probably why my back always gets poked.
[grunting]
"A Record of the People of Couchville:
Our Life and Times Between the Cushions."
What is going on?
[screaming]
- Where am I?
- Who are you?
What are you doing in my couch?
- Why, I live there, of course.
- Oh.
Wait, what?
- Oh, you found it!
Thank you!
I am King Warrick: Sewer of Seams,
Keeper of Febreze,
and Wielder of the Wand of Numbers.
- That's my remote!
- We use it to help silence the wretched sirens
of the Bachelorette.
I've ruled and reigned in your couch
for about 50 years now.
- 50 years?
The couch is that old?
Wait, that's an insane amount of time.
You would've have to have been born in the couch.
- I was.
- Oh, gross.
Wait, what?
- I was born and raised in your couch.
- And you're Scottish?
Well, I used to be Swedish
until you sprayed the Scotchgard.
- Is that my shirt?
- Probably.
Everything I own is stuff that you've dropped in there.
- I dropped a full set of clothes and a purple cape
in the couch?
I need to reevaluate my life.
- Warrick!
- Oh, oh!
- Warrick, oh, there ya are!
- Allow me to introduce me wife, Queen Iona.
- So do I call you Your Majesty, or...?
- Aye.
- Okay.
But how do you live?
I mean, what do you eat?
- We've always had more than plentiful amounts of food
from chips of the potato to melted M&Ms,
they we wouldna mind if you dropped
a few fruits and vegetables every once in a while.
- Oh, yeah, I must've eaten all of those.
But do I really drop that much stuff into the couch?
- Aye.
Enough to sustain the entire kingdom.
- The what?
- [groaning] Oh, hello there.
- Hi.
- Sire.
I'm afraid the peasants in the Hide-a-bed Highlands
are asking for a better sewage system.
- Very well.
Take some money from the treasury
and get started.
- You have money too?
- Aye.
Our currency consists of your loose change.
- My loose ch--
How much have I dropped in?
- 18 million dollars.
[clicks tongue]
- Yeah, that sounds about right.
- We have also been bequeathed the leatherfold of destiny
and the jangly metals of freedom.
- Oh, my wallet and car keys!
- No!
- But I need those to drive and live.
- How dare you violate our trust?
- The people of Couchville are very generous,
but when you threaten to steal our greatest treasures--
- Look, I'm sorry,
but you people are just--
- Oh, "you people," what's that supposed to mean?
- I think he means "grubby couch people," my queen.
- No, no, I didn't mean it like that.
- No, we get it.
We're not from the other side of a cushion like you.
- Okay, don't make this a--
Don't make this a couch class thing.
- How dare you look down your nose at us?
- I'm sorry, I'm just not comfortable with couch Narnia.
- I'm sorry to do this,
but when you mess with the people of Couchville,
the people of Couchville have no choice but to retaliate.
[blows horn]
[grunting]
- How did I drop so many swords into the couch?
- Attack!
- Faster, faster!
- There you go.
- It seems our kingdom is safe once again, my lord.
- Hello, King of Couchville!
- My old foe.
I thought I banished you a long time ago.
- The Ottoman Empire will rise again!
[evil laugh]
Sir Hector: Welcome, my lords and ladies,
to the fifth-century future King of Britain debates.
I, Sir Hector, have the honor of being tonight's moderator
between King Hopefuls Sir Eric and Sir Arthur.
Let's begin, shall we?
As future king, how would you help our nation
escape the Dark Ages?
Eric, your squire killed Arthur's,
so you may respond first.
- Knowledge will be the key.
I will promote reading, mathematics, arts,
and science to everyone,
especially the youth
in the form of a public education system.
- Hmm.
Interesting.
Arthur, same question?
- Well, unlike my opponent, I believe that actions
speak louder than words.
Sir Hector: Oh, what-what is he...
[magical music]
[applause]
- I know I'm supposed to remain non-partisan,
but what an amazing response from Arthur.
That was impressive.
Okay.
[clears throat]
Next question.
How would you help our nation avoid another black plague?
Eric?
- Awareness.
I will run a campaign to teach peasants
the importance of hand washing before food consumption,
which will save millions of lives.
- Arthur, do you agree?
- That sounds good on parchment,
but 'tis a cheap solution to the real problem.
If we are indeed serious about plague prevention,
then we need someone who is willing to do this.
[magical music]
- Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
How on earth is pulling a sword out of a stone
helpful for anything?
- Oh, sweet, simple Eric.
'Tis so much more than a sword in the stone.
'Tis a metaphor.
Now try to keep up.
You see, the sword represents a sharp, pointy object
used as a weapon.
And the stone represents a rock.
- Such beautiful insight.
The stone really is like a rock.
- Okay, not a metaphor.
Synonym.
Education could help with--
Listen, I don't think Sir Arthur has any clue
about any of today's issues.
I mean, how-how is he going to resolve our war
with the Vikings?
- Oh, yes.
- Uh, simple.
I shall, um, build the internal infrastructure
and pre-emptive strategies.
- Good plan, good plan.
I think I've proved my point.
- Speaking of points.
[magical music]
[applause]
- Yes we can!
- Is there any logical person among you?
The wise wizard Merlin.
Thou canst see the future.
Can you please tell everyone how ridiculous Sir Arthur's plan
would turn out to be?
- It is ridiculous...ly accurate.
- Okay.
- It was exactly how it will shaketh down.
Arthur, I will be your mentor.
Though you can pull that sword from that stone,
so you probably don't even need me.
- Has everyone gone mad?
Our kingdom needs a true leader!
How is Sir Arthur going to stop the corruption
that's infiltrated the Knights of the Rectangular Table?
- 'Tis simple.
I shall make the table round!
- Oh, yeah.
It's not the shape of the table that's caused the corruption.
Sir Lancelot, can you back me up here?
- 'Tis true.
For the last few years, we knights have stolen,
cheated, fought amongst ourselves.
- See, as I foretold.
- All for the glory of sitting
at the head of the Rectangular Table.
But now that the table is round,
it's like, whatevs!
- These debates are so idiotic!
- Wait until 2016.
- All hail King Arthur!
All: Hail King Arthur!
- Yes, ah!
[magical music]
- And they lived happily ever after.
- Now subscribe!
- Comment below about what your favorite sketch was.
- And like the channel while you're at it.
- That's right.
Have a magical day.
[magical flourish]
Đăng ký:
Đăng Nhận xét (Atom)
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét