Are you winning at life and think you shouldn't?
Do you believe you're too successful?
Well look no further, because in this video I'll explain and share some foolproof tactics
on how to become a complete failure in life.
Let's get started.
So the first thing you should do is avoid sleep as much as possible.
It only wastes your precious time which could be spent doing other important things, like
watching shows on Netflix.
If you feel tired just drink a sugary energy drink, which will help you stay awake much,
much longer and barely give you any energy.
It's also really important that you don't have a consistent sleep schedule and go to
sleep at a different hour every single day.
This way you can prevent your body from forming a natural sleep pattern.
Another thing to avoid is exercise.
Exercise can actually improve sleep, so there's that.
But also it releases endorphins in your brain which trigger positive feelings and a good
outlook on life.
And you don't want that, so move as little as possible.
The best way to be completely static, is to watch TV and play video games.
These two activities will keep you occupied for hours, making sure you don't move at all
and also the blue light from your screen will help you get bad quality sleep.
When you mess up your sleep you will naturally feel tired throughout the day.
Guess what you want to do when you're too tired?
You not only avoid exercise, but you also want to just lay on the couch, watch TV and
play video games.
This will become a perfect loop that will take some serious willpower to get out of.
And if you're worried that you might somehow get out of this downward spiral I got a perfect
solution.
Eat a lot of processed food.
The best way is to just order from fast food restaurants and make sure they deliver to
your home.
This way you don't even have to expend any stamina by getting there.
That processed food will sap your energy and kill your gut bacteria.
But that's what you want after all.
However you might want to eat something different every once in a while.
So whatever you do, avoid vegetables.
So going to the grocery store's candy aisle should do the trick.
That way you know that it's super delicious and your taste buds will love it.
Not only will these foods help you drain your energy and willpower to do anything in life,
but they will also help you become fat.
The fatter you are, the harder it is to move around.
Bottom line: you don't want to prepare and cook your own food.
(By the way, throwing a pizza in to a microwave isn't cooking.)
While on your path to failure you won't be leaving your house much.
But when you do, make sure you try to impress people you don't even care about.
Don't invest your money, but rather spend it on expensive designer clothes trying to
look rich.
Now if you really want to put the icing on the cake, get a bank loan and buy a new fancy
sports car you don't even need.
This will make you look rich while simultaneously digging a bigger financial hole.
The next step is to get rid of all your goals and dreams.
Most importantly, whatever you do, don't plan on how to achieve them.
Improvised living will give you unexpected results, as it will steer your actions in
multiple directions.
Without a clear plan, you'll most likely go left, right, forwards and backwards, and you'll
never come close to your goals.
If you're unlucky and already made a step by step plan, make sure to start with it tomorrow.
I mean if it can be done the next day, why do it today?
Better yet, just day-dream about your goals and think how awesome it would be to achieve
them, while continuing to watch Netflix and eating chips.
If by any chance you're already half-way with your goals, make sure you don't persist and
quit the second it gets tough.
Giving up spares you a lot of trouble, hard work and pain.
And if someone asks you why you quit when you experienced a setback, make as many excuses
as possible.
Or even better, blame other people for your own mistakes and problems.
Why would you want to take responsibility for your life, when you can just sit back
and blame others for everything bad that happens to you.
Being a victim is easy and takes very little effort.
Oh, and don't forget to complain about everything, while not doing anything about it.
Complain about the weather, Mondays and other people complaining.
When you have nothing good to talk about, complain about your life and everything wrong
with it.
You're still watching?
Here's a bonus tip just for you.
Don't educate yourself.
Books should only be used as toilet paper.
You don't want to fill your mind with useless crap after all.
You most likely already know everything you need to know, and if you don't, reading Twitter
and Facebook posts will surely educate you more than enough.
Thanks for watching.
If you follow all these instructions you will without a doubt become a complete failure.
If you got any other pro tips on how to ruin your life, leave them in the comments below.
Together we'll become worse than yesterday.
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