[Chapter 1: AFRICA]
The time has come for me to hitchhike on African continent
for the first time in my life!
As they say, time to hit the road.
I'm having a hard time right now. I just left my home
and I'm waiting for a car - yes, I've got a means of transport
from my home in Żory all the way to Warsaw.
So it's all good.
I'm standing near the Palace of Culture and Central Station,
it's cold as fuck, probably around 0°C, but you feel like it's -5°C.
To put it shortly, I'm glad about my trip to warm places in the south.
I'll warm myself up.
Africa, you know what I'm saying.
I will lose some weight as well.
I just saw a Gypsy - or, to be politically correct, a Roma.
And there were like 8 kids in his car, so I'd rather...
Ok, I'm off. Let's see what happens.
Sup, it's November the 11th [Independence Day], anyone who lives
on Ochota street could hear [ex]president Komorowski's speech.
And here we can see the KOD's march [organization against current ruling party].
Let's see how it looks.
,,Defenders of Democration".
We can hear someone desecrating the music of late Jacek Kaczmarski.
I despise this person.
Everyone stares at me like I'm some kind of instigator, which is not true.
I'm a pacifist.
So I'm leaving this place cuz I don't wanna be here.
Crap, where should I... Excuse me.
I'll walk on the grass.
Well, as you can see there are only young peeps here.
All's good.
I'd buy a KOD shirt but I have no money.
Excuse me, how much is it?
-25 pln. -We need something to burn during the Independence March.
Could we get one for free?
- Nooo... - It'll be a nice PR for you guys.
- But that's not what it's about. - Really? Damn, it could even be a used one.
Too bad, sorry.
- Don't let the ONR guys know [Nationalist org.] - No, I'm not one of them and will never be.
I was caught by the police because they probably falsely accused me of being an instigator.
Here? Here?
OK.
Policeman: Can you check him? I gotta go. - Good morning.
Good morning, I was told to come here.
No problem, sir.
- ID please. - I don't have one, just ask me what you wanna know.
I'm finally under the Palace of Culture, so, as you know,
the place for the Independence March - the only peaceful march in Poland this year.
Everything else is a job of instigators.
Let's go. You can hear KOD instigators throwing firecrackers.
As you can see, the Independence March has marched for a few km now
and you all know from TV and from here that nothing bad happened at all.
There were no provocations-- No wait there was one,
where 15 trr-- leftists tried to fight one hundred thousand people,
but there are people like that everywhere.
See for yourselves how it looks.
[EQUIPMENT]
Sup. According to tradition, I'll show you the stuff I'm taking on my trip.
I don't have the whole equipment yet, because the problem is,
today, 20 hours before my flight, I will make my final decision.
The important thing is not the... usefulness, but the weight.
So. The most important thing is the smallest possible sleeping bag.
Cutlery. I chose the plastic ones because they're light and pretty durable.
This is a sharpener. Here's why I need it.
I got it from Trollsky [custom knives maker], whom you all prolly know.
And if you don't, look here. See that pepper?
I got a knife from Trollsky, a perfect one for Africa.
It's... Dunno if I should call it a knife, it's more like a masterpiece to me.
I've never had something so perfectly crafted in my hands.
It's really just... just... perfect. And I'm really grateful.
I've got a case as well.
Another thing - a hat with holes in here.
This here is to cover my neck.
I can put it on but I'll look like mr nobody.
A net. I will put it on a hat so mosquitos can kiss my ass.
Shirts. I bought them on Allegro, used ones to not look too fancy.
They're branded, obviously, but I'm pretty sure they're from a secondhand shop.
Someone bought them to sell for bigger price online.
Respect.
Another shirt.
Why shirts and not t-shirts?
Because I'm going to Muslim countries and it's not really allowed to wear short sleeves there.
And with shirts I can roll up my sleeves or unbutton them as well.
Oh, food. Everyone asks me what I'm taking.
Sprats. This is my dish for the Christmas Eve.
And of course paprikash szczeciński for the New Year's Eve.
Gotta keep the tradition.
Another thing. I use such bags for random stuff.
I give them weird names. 'Camera chargers'.
Everything's organized in a way to make it possible to find the necessary things.
And that's important. A lot, lot, lot, lot, lot of electronic devices.
SD cards, pendrives. I will use them to send my videos.
Vaccines. Yes, I got all the obligatory vaccines.
...well, except for rabies and... cholera.
20 batteries. It's really important because there won't be many occasions in Africa
A powerbank. I've got 2 of them but dunno if I'll take both because they're heavy.
well... to... to access any form of electro... access to electricity.
I'll think it over.
This solar battery one I bought for my previous trip but didn't manage to try it out.
But I promise I will this time.
A water-repellent case for my bag, very important.
I've got a lot of accessories here. Lemme show you~
So. The most important thing is a water filter.
I can use it for a few thousands litres and with it you can drink straight from the river.
In case of a puddle, I'l need some... purification tablets as well.
Pepper spray. I hope they'll allow me to bring it on a plane,
if not, then... that sucks.
What is it?
What the fuck.
A fire striker.
It's working.
And of course a mess kit - extremely important because I need something to cook in.
I see some ladies approaching me but I dunno if they're here to say goodbye.
Or should I rather say goodbye to Poland gracefully?
Another stuff, USB adapter.
A 10m-long line. It's only around 10 PLN but it can be really useful.
A hair trimmer. Inb4 you say 'why taking it, it's a waste of space'.
Dudes, I don't want them to trimm my hair with the stuff they use on themselves.
This is my personal trimmer and us dudes use it on our heads, but not only.
A small backpack, it fits everywhere and is useful.
Water-repellent cape. Useful for African heavy rains.
This... This I will use for Krzysztof Krawczyk's carols.
I bought this flashlight. I've always wanted a Tikka+, so I got one. Simply.
Everyone has to follow their dreams.
A hard drive.
Some stuff.
Dude.
That's all.
Well, I'm sitting by the Wisła river.
Lemme show you something funny as fuck.
Like city, like jetty.
Fine, sorry.
Cheers.
This is the most important. Who cares about McDonald's or Kebabs.
Your last Sunday's Polish dinner should be broth.
Unfortunately they don't serve Silesian dumplings.
Second dish, a Polish custom, but not really a Silesian one - kotlet schabowy, look.
Well, a farewell to Poland in a milk bar.
Obviously I have to tell you the whole story.
Imagine this - I was walking around the airport and shopping freely,
I bought a vodka and a shirt with POLSKA wirtten on it,
and I was late for my flight, so they called me throught the speakers.
In the end, I was the last to board the plane and they scolded me.
Because they closed he doors 8 minutes before.
But I made it, I've always been lucky.
That's how the plane looks.
[Cape Town] I don't know how to tell you this, but it's November the 14th
and I'm wearing shorts and sandals.
I'm at the airport in Cape Town, welcome.
As you can see, I'm going to see penguins.
This is the Allegro used shirt I bought.
But it was cheap as heck, so I'm happy.
Oh God. Oh God.
OK.
This is where I can see penguins, but there's a problem.
Too many people here, so the thing is... I don't know if I'll make it.
I'm looking for the best place.
The one where I... Got them.
Some dude saw me. Hopefully he won't tell anyone.
Maybe this one likes vodka.
Okay, it's time for another operation Vodka For Penguins.
God, I hope everything goes well.
Second meeting with penguins, and for the 2nd time I forgot shot glasses.
But this time I've got some alternative.
There's still some ice inside but no worries.
First attempt, go.
Fuck. If I'm caught, I'm dead.
It's forbidden to come here.
He wants to fight.
Come on, try.
Why not.
You know what, penguins apparently won't drink vodka.
Do it, fuuuck, do it.
Come on, don't say no.
Show me your courage. You got vodka for free.
African penguins won't drink vodka,
but that doesn't mean I will give up,
because you can find penguins in Australia or New Zealand as well.
Penguins won't drink vodka.
For the 2nd time, who verified it? Me.
Sorry guys.
See my pretty clothes?
Penguins said no to free vodka.
I gotta run because some tourists saw me here and nagged at me in German.
Fuck.
What are these sounds... I gotta run, I'm scared of them.
They're 40 cm tall but I'm still scared of them.
Okay, 45 cm.
How am I supposed to walk there.
Fucking Kung Fu Panda.
Sorry.
Oh God.
Okay.
I can't jump over here.
But... I can crawl.
Remember that place.
What a nice hole.
Oh well, I saw a shitting penuing, so that's all I needed.
And they won't drink vodka.
Another ones.
I'm sorry.
Okay, I gotta explain something to you.
This is the beginning of my African season.
And you probably expect a lot of WOW moments from the beginning.
But something that was also visible on the beginning of my South American trip,
and the... wait, where did I go...
the Asian trip as well.
Okay, here's the deal.
I'm always nervous at the beginning. I'm not an actor and it's difficult to me at first.
I'm too shy to take out the camera and speak, I have to wait until I open myself.
You know when will that happen? It's easy, I'll tell you-
God, wanna see something? I mean it's nothing unusual,
it's a pretty common view for me. But maybe you'll like it.
3
2
1
To make amazing videos, to be completely myself.
Because now I'm shy, forgive me.
But trust me, I won't let you down. I won't.
Like how I did at the end of my Asian trip.
I was completely depressed by then.
Well, I'm not really happy now either.
But I won't let you down, because that's my life's goal.
If it goes differently, I'll be gone forever.
Well, I won't get too philosophical here.
I'm actually trying hard right now, because there are people around,
and I'm speaking in my native language to the camera.
Yep.
I'll be fine, fine.
Not everything's as easy and colorful as you may think.
Woah, so many penguins.
Oh fu-heck, I had no idea. But you will.
Chicks.
Dude, a penguino loner!
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