*Gopnik music plays*
Wait, mama is that you?
Ay blyat
Yees, everything is fine
Okay, hold on, I'll call you back
I'm trying to reach Anatoli
Anatoli
We need to cook!
You're doing what?
Washing car?
In this weather?
Okay man, forget that, get over here right now.
Well, we need to COOK, blyat!
Ah, debil.
Welcome comrades to another status update video!
It has been... a while.
First of all, let me introduce the new gaming chair
Forget DXRacer
this is the shit you want in your life
I call it:
The Gopnik Gamer, Mark Five
Straight out of your babushka's garage
Sturdy enough for those long gaming sessions
Not... supposed to be rocking actually
Next up, as you can see on the wall
Slav soundproofing
Let me show you:
Very basic
very simple
Super Slav
I call it the.. egg trays on the wall method
And in yesterday's Instagram post
people asked me so much:
"Boris, is it your new slav gear?"
Yes it is, I call it: The Blyatman
And as we are nearing 500k subscribers on channel
here is a tribute
to all the people
who said I would not make it
of which there were none, so this makes no sense
Well, here is to 500k more!
Blyat
*Drinks vodka*
And may the channel bring you
many years of happiness
Like it has done for me
Enjoy!
*Life of Boris intro plays*
Whoever the blin it was
that suggested I get a gaming chair from DXRacer
you can go suck a d-
So I actually waited until evening
to film this
because it was way too bright outside
And by this moment, I wouldn't be surprised
if the channel has reached 500k subscribers
Congratulations to everyone!
And welcome to channel!
Look at my fucking chair!
That thread count! That quality!
I mean...
Old people do not just choose their furniture
at random
This is some high slav comfort
And check this out, this is my favourite part
The chair comes with own set of curtains
Nu blin!
Very convenient, if you like
stashing a whole pig under your chair
for security reasons, who knows?
Moving on
we have the Russian carpet in corner
I usually keep it rolled up for video purposes
so I can just pick it up
and throw it in the back of the Blyatmobile
the walls of studio HQ of Boris
are not just covered in cheeki breeki
but also with the trays of the eggs
that I used last week to make some blins
Up here we have some relics from...
Long-long time ago.
Including the mayonez pillow
shaped like a play button
These are some foam waffle irons
That I put on the wall
So the egg trays do not get lonely
This thing with the Adidas lanyard
Is the one tool that keeps the Blyatmobile moving
Over there is the silver play button
that took six months to deliver
by which time I already had 400k
And here we have the fan-sent 10k subscriber achievement button
With frame made out of solid mayonez
Some late night coffee in owl shaped cup
Next to my favourite tool
That I use for...
art.
Here we have Boris mail delivery system
Looks like inbox is getting kind of low
Is this a low time of business in Boris HQ?
We will find out
Very soon
Here we have
the Gop Pro for filming all kinds of crazy shit
Here is the phone that I use for recording all my videos
Or, well, not anymore
Now that I have this really high quality camera
I have no need for this relic
Ah shit, battery is dead.
Here is a book in Spanish that I cannot understand
But I will try anyway:
*Boris speaks shitty Spanish*
You see? Easy-peasy!
Book number two much more understandable, but I have still not finished
Now this, along with the camera of course
was the high point of my year of 2016
many months of collecting money
and finally in December
when, I think 100 new people
joined the Patreon support squad
I finally got my dream computer
I mean, it can barely run GTA3, but still
it's good!
Moving on to the
OPA!
Now, this is the microphone
I use for most of my Slavic noises
And this is the official drone of Life of Boris channel
After I bought the camera and the laptop, I thought:
Eh fuck it, might as well get drone
And well... this is all money I had left
I call this...
The Gopnik Space Program
Let's try it out!
*Drone beeps on*
Another loss for Gopnik-kind.
Under the launchpad we have a little tiny secret compartment
that every Slav should have
On this hard drive I save all the weirdest shit
I have ever seen
This box used for government secrets
And the highly confidential orange book
Also known as "The Kill List"
Over here we have some Polish Zloty
Enough to last a whole week!
The keyboard that I use is the quietest one I could ever find
So the stupid key clacking would not be recorded on the microphone
When I am gaming
K740 - illuminated
Now, some people say that the mouse doesn't make the gamer...
...but the gamer makes the mouse
That is a lie, nobody says that.
Over here at the intelligent people's corner
there is the breakfast drink of the Superslav
otherwise known as the Russian cold medicine
Right next to Blyatmobile number one
Man, this car is dying fast
I will talk more about it in a minute
Here we have some Slavination tape
Normally applied to cars
or your phone
or face
Your clothing, your house
your whatever
Now, this might look like regular coffee cup
But there is a small secret:
whenever you see a cup
that has a sign: "Caution, I'm hot" on it
then remember, it is actually secret compartment
You see, there is a hole that you can stick your d...
Or you can put this custom small phone lens into
and you can have this nice little effect
Fun for the whole family
Or just up to age five
Oy blin, I could get good footage from this with my Dragunov!
Here we have the infamous
one of a kind Steelseries lamp
only one ever made
and nobody knows where it is
...except for me
In this notebook is contained
the gameplan of this whole channel
when and how it all got started
and I will show you right now:
Cyka!
Well what did you expect, blin?
Now, this is what I call "Tovarish Tower"
All the best stuff of the Slav Superstar
Oy look, it's eight o'clock!
Here is Kakadu wearing all my Slav bling
and also the aviator glasses that I used to wear
before some idiot started copying me, wearing the same thing
Here we have the...
Borisoleon crossing the sashlik mountain
Blin, I have no idea what's this called
Made by fan called Grete
along with the book and the cat
and the squatting little tiny Boris
holding the big shaslik and the vodka
feeling so proud!
Squatting next to a gigantic jar of mayonez
The book does contain secrets to
the Slavic lifestyle
but does not teach the people how to drink vodka like a slav!
No problem, I will do that in upcoming video
The next level of...
Tovarish Tower
has this strange movie clacking thing
that I have never used
This container says "SAHAR"
or caxap, if you can't read Russian
But actually contains all the money I have ever saved up
up to this point in life
Still empty, blyat
Every slav should have at least
two jars of mayonez as backup
You never know when you need to make buterbrod
at the end of month
And that's how I always have mayonez
Here is some Polska shit
that I saved from that video
the one where I mixed up pedestrians and dogs
And some essential Slav gear
this stuff everyone has
Some walkie-talkies for
long distance communication
Respirator, Adidas bag
Some more white tape
and the jar that I made kvass in
The cup I borrowed from neighbour Vadim
when I was over at his place making syrnik
A one blin sized pan
for cooking the end of the month onions
And in the back is half of the brick
from making ukha
A selection of weapons
in case of apocalypse
My self-coloured light blue balaclava
that I can never use because
it reminds people of a Russian feminist band, blyat
And oh, what do we have here?
The first ever WESLAV pants ever created
The official gopnik brand of the world
and I have the first ones
I talk about it again in one minute
More egg trays on walls
so I can scream as loud as I can
and people do not bother me from upstairs
And time to bring out the blur tool once again
Some more egg trays right on the ceiling
And the wall of endless ideas of Boris
People, they have asked me many times:
"Boris, are you not afraid, you run out of ideas?"
"Are you not afraid that-" NO
I am not
You leave the worrying to me
I am the leader and owner of this channel, blyat
and as long as I keep it moving forward
there will be ideas.
Down here is the pot for making ukha
pot number two for everything else
and a true classic from
1972
the Soviet style waffle machine
that I will be using in an upcoming video
This, is the beast of a machine
that I am using to edit all the videos
Although most of the shit inside is from
199- I mean 2012
it still does the job
Third generation i7
16GB of RAM
everything running on SSD
and the GTX980 upgraded to in 2015
A good machine, sadly not vodka-cooled
Running two screens
one of which is 144 Hz
and the other one is shit
more padding on the door and the wall
essentially so well padded
that people in other room will never know
how you got deranked to silver again
The official YouTube play button
made of fake silver
the box it came in
probably made of fake cardboard
Some bolts for anomalies
just in case
My old cheese knife that I don't use anymore
And a sponge shaped like play button
and of course: one Slav Superstar Boris
Camera provided to me
by the kind people
that have supported me on Patreon
I say: thank you!
To everyone!
But this video not yet over!
There's a few more things I wanted to mention
so, let's switch over to some gameplay
Welcome to second part of video, comrades!
This game, it is called Hard Truck Apocalypse
Which brings me to first announcement:
for about a whole year now
I have not uploaded gaming videos to this channel
except for the occasional Stalin simulator
and uh... Cossack dancing babushkas
But in 2015
you could considerably see
that I was into the longer gameplay videos
but after seeing a low feedback
of such videos on this main channel
I have decided to start uploading them
To another one:
Introducing: GOPNIK GAMING
Gaming videos, that are more focused on the story
and less edited
(at least I try)
There I try to pay more attention to details in game
but at the same time, keep it cheeki breeki
So you might be saying:
"Boris, why another channel?"
"Come on! Why.."
...
Well, do not worry my friends
all the content of Life of Boris
will stay on Life of Boris
all the cooking and the travel
and the the how to slav
and of course the occasional gaming video
I mean:
why change it, when it's not broken?
Life of Boris will stay the same
but if you are interested
in finally
FINALLY getting that gameplay video
of Boris playing Stalker
or Boris playing Witcher
then go to Gopnik Gaming
press Subscribe
and just wait
your dreams will come true
I promise
Because next up is more Witcher
Also, if you want notifications on your phone
about me uploading video
on this channel or that one
Go to the channel
Click Subscribe and click the bell button
This way you not have to wonder
how you are two days late
for new video
Also, this way you get answers to your questions
that you have always been wondering
Because in first hour of uploading video, I reply to all the comments that I can
So, write your ideas:
where should I go?
What is your favourite food that you want me to cook?
Or what game you want to see me play
I will make a list
and start doing them one by one
Man, this game is shit, let me switch over
Okay, so Gopnik Gaming for longer videos
and main channel stays the same as it is right now
Good? Good.
Next thing I wanted to talk about:
is the Blyatmobile
it is dying very slowly
but very fast
and as I promised in a previous status update video
If I get half a million subsribers
Shit fuck, yes I will buy new car
and this time, more slav than ever
Promises made
means promises kept
I'm starting to look for a new car
Suggestions in comments, please
Also, right now I'm making a video
called "Why Slavs Squat"
So, if you have an image or a video
of yourself squatting
and you would like to be featured in the video
send it over to SQUATSUPERSTAR@GMAIL.COM
along with the reason: WHY YOU SQUAT?
Also, if you just have fan mail
send it over there as well
I usually feature it in a video
so you can brag to your friends, that you are popular as well
The last thing I wanted to talk about today
is the clothing brand WESLAV
I think I mentioned this in the start of December
and a few weeks ago the store made
what we call a soft open
and predictably
we got so many orders that the store crashed
Do not worry: everyone who made an order are getting their stuff
or some already have
The store will reopen in about a week
With an even wider variety of things
Also, if you have noticed
in the last videos
that the quality has gotten
surprisingly high
compared to previous ones
Then this is directly because of supporters on Patreon
It is no surprise, that everything costs money
but if you can
and you show your support as well
then you will keep seeing a constant rise in quality
and if we hit that goal
then new music videos as well
Think about it for a minute
And here is a quick overview of the stuff I have bought
with the support that I have received
Since I still do some shooting with my phone
I found it a very useful upgrade
to get a wide angle lens
for any type of emergency quick action shooting
Especially in places
where it's not possible
...or not legal to...
bring a real camera
So this is how I stay sneaky breeki
If you remember my Poland video
then you know that I get kicked out of store
for filming with camera
And finally:
the big bad monster
that has been used many times now
Canon 80D
with wide angle lens
Got a very good deal on it
and possibly the best camera
suited for my action
Well, that is all the things I wanted to talk about
So, if you like long gameplay videos
go check out Gopnik Gaming
New video should be already
uploaded already tomorrow
But for now my friends:
thank you for watching
stay cheeki breeki
and I will see you next time
*Life of Boris outro plays*
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