- Hi guys! Welcome to the Mom Files!
- Hey guys, welcome to the Mom Files!
(upbeat music)
- Okay, so we're talking about something really
really really important and near and dear
to our hearts
- How to be happy!
- How to be happy, right? Like it's so important.
I was saying to my husband last night
like the kids were crying, it was so crazy
and I was like, parenting's hard!
- It is hard.
- It's hard, like I, and Melissa always says
like you don't have to say this but
we all love our kids, we do, we like
we're so happy that we're parents I mean
but it doesn't change the fact that
parenting is a tough job
- Right and sometimes you can
- And it's forever
- Sometimes you can get lost in a rut
right when you're feeling like
you're down, you're blue, the kids are
never listening, like you have no time
for yourself and then you just stop being happy
I've heard so many times where moms are like
I don't know where it happened
but somewhere along the way, I stopped being happy.
- I stopped being happy.
- So we're going to pretend we're your experts
and these are our tips on being happy
and if you don't like them just
drink a glass of wine
- But try to work on these, okay here we go
okay, first tip, guys, say no.
If you don't want to do something,
if you can't do it, if you're overwhelmed
own it, mean it, say it, no. It's a hard one.
- We're so good at saying no to our kids,
but we can't say no to anybody else,
it's like this guilt complex coming over us
for saying no
- We're pleasers, right?
- Right.
- I think that's the other thing
as moms we want people to be happy
but you know what, say no, I really respect
people who can say no.
- She does.
- (singing) It's too late now to say sorry
I can't remember the words
- Stop saying sorry.
- Sorry for her bad singing
- Sorry's weak though, I mean you don't
need to say sorry all the time
you really don't who are you apologizing to?
You don't need to say it, unless you legit
need to apologize to someone
- Right, like if you hit someone's car, say sorry.
- Yeah, Melissa's done that. Okay, but yeah
- So have you
- Oh yeah, but saying sorry, yeah that was bad.
- We just say sorry
- Oh god! I should stop doing that
- We just say sorry, we're a society of sorry's
so, so sorrys.
sorry for saying sorry mom!
- It's so hard to not say sorry but
I think if you remove that, just counting
one day, just for shits and giggles for us
just count one day how many times you say sorry
and then try and reduce it by ten percent.
- This one I think is really really important
and especially being moms who put ourselves
out there online a lot, we know that we kind of
put ourselves in the target, but it's really
important to stand up for your views
and stand up for what you believe in as
a parent, the way you parent and also
respect other people's so agree to disagree
if you don't -
- I want to jump on that
- Yeah.
- Agree to disagree, you know what?
We're all in this parent world
we're all struggling, were all not sleeping
at night, we're, you get where I'm going with this
- Yeah
- And it's okay, like we have lots of moms
that have different opinions than us
or do their parenting different than us
we are cool with that
- And that's okay.
- We want to agree to disagree
and just love each other as moms.
- But also don't feel like you have to
hide your view or what you feel as a parent
I feel like it's really important
to express that.
- And express that with class
- With respect, yeah.
- Stop feeling guilty
- Did you just go like that?
- Yes!
- True, guilt is such a wasted emotion
it doesn't change anything, it really doesn't.
- And the other person doesn't know
you're feeling guilty
- No!
- Just you do.
- And guilt, it's just it kills your soul,
like just get rid of it, don't even bother
it doesn't do anything for you.
- We don't have anything intelligent to say
other then just stop doing it.
- Stop, no, guilt. Bad. Don't do it.
- Stop. Vanessa's really good at this one
- Oh, I'm good at this one.
If you watch your insta stories you'll see
that I often have a date night with my husband.
Take personal time for yourself,
plan date nights, like get out, it's okay.
- Don't take my advice here, because I've got none.
Cause, Vanessa, if you've watched in the last month
and a half has been to Cuba, goes on date nights
every week and LA and I've been in a hospital
and in a bedroom
- Okay, you have a newborn baby,
so that one, I knew one,
and to be honest, I don't normally travel
all the time like that it just happened
like that, but it was great, I needed it
and I appreciated it and I came back a new momma.
- But sometimes a bubble bath is all you need.
I have a big problem with this one.
Stop striving for perfection, it's a disease.
- Yeah.
- Like, our babies going to interrupt our call right now
- And that's just life, but honestly
there is no such thing as perfection
and I think also when we're on social media
and we're looking at instagram and facebook
and all those things it's so easy
to feel terrible about yourself because
everything appears to be perfect.
People share all the perfect stuff,
not the bad stuff or the hard stuff, so
we hope that we're sharing the real stuff
for you guys because we don't want you to feel
like we think we're perfect, we are not perfect.
No one is, and don't even try to be.
- No.
- perfection is not fun, either, just FYI
being perfect sucks.
- Just F things up a bit
- Yeah
- Who wants to be perfect?
- Love yourself.
- Moms complain so much about their bodies
after they have a baby like they lost their body.
- Okay I'm going to stop you here
because, that's my biggest pet peeve
your body didn't go anywhere, you still
have your body
- Yeah, same body.
- Same body, you created a human.
- Just different shapes and curves and
feels, the thing is it doesn't matter
how slim you get or whatever, you're
always going to have traces of your baby
on you, thank goodness.
- I like that, what do they call it?
The tiger stripes, I like that one.
- And I just think, like it is what it is
we've had kids, like love who you are right now.
Like I have full on rolls, I'm a small person
I've had three kids, but my stomach's been
out to here three times, like it's inevitable
like that's life, sometimes it bothers me,
but you know, I'm going flipping love myself
and wear a bikini whenever I want.
- We can't compare ourselves
- We are so different, how would we ever
compare ourselves and feel good about ourselves
- If we ever actually got ourselves set up properly
- Melissa is like a foot taller than me
how could I ever compare myself to her
- Stop comparing yourself to other moms
especially online, to other people
just stop it.
- We're all so different. None of us
are the same, no one's better than the other one.
This is such a true saying, comparison
is the thief of joy, don't do it.
I've depressed myself online, looking at
people's stuff being like, oh my gosh,
don't compare, it's really not healthy, it's not good.
- Okay we're going to finish up here guys
- Thanks for watching!
- And if you didn't like our tapes, again,
just drink a glass of wine, it always makes me happy
- A glass of Pinot. Bambino.
- I'm going to get my Bambino.
- Plan a date, love yourself, be happy
- Bye guys! See you next week!
(upbeat music)
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