Hey, everyone, it's Barbara here
or Nickely Challenged and yeah
Today I am going to be talking about identity crisis
I know a lot of us you know in the world
have them but when you have a chronic illness
allergy whatever that literally removes you from basic things
that you need to deal with that is just, its very hard
The first identity crisis was I had a rash all over my body
It was very hard to socialise that way
I would have hoodies in the summertime
Also I ... it was very hard being twelve with double D's
Just saying that was another identity crisis
but to the subject of allergies, I had a rash all over my body
I used to play the cello and everything, I had braces
everything was very nickel
so I had a rash all over my body it was very hard to do anything
even to wear shorts or anything
I would always wear baggy clothes, you know
which was worse because it was really hot
and the rash would flare up, it was a mess
the second identity crisis was food
as my low nickel diet goes
I cannot eat out because stainless steel has nickel
so the whole eating out social experience is just out of the question
I would force myself to eat
because it was better off to do that
I was twenty when I started the low nickel diet
but it was better off to not plan things
because when you start planning things
most twenty-year-olds don't hold it accountable
so I just like slacked it to the waste side
and I would get sick. I had anaphylaxis in front of my friend
and she was like, "you are stressing me out"
and I was like "I am stressing you out"
so this month is my one year anniversary
of not cheating meaning I didn't eat out
I didn't really do too much of being outside of the low nickel diet
and yeah! I am happy about that
I think this will just be a life long thing
but removing the social aspect of eating out
removes people just how things are
and that kind of has an identity crisis
because you need to be okay with yourself without people
because ninety percent of people are not going to be okay
with you watching them eat, bringing your own food
they will pity you literally your whole life will revolve around being pitied
because of this food allergy or this food sensitivity
The third identity crisis would be the sense of touch
I have a really severe smoking allergy which is part of the nickel allergy
people in the medical community are just not advanced to figure out me
you know, so I have been figuring out myself
for the longest and I cannot really touch anyone
unless they have showered, I have stopped doing handshakes
when I meet someone body it is very hard to do that
if I am not in Houston I don't have any intimacy of a hug or anything
so, I had my third identity crisis navigating without touching anyone
ever, not even also touch in the sense of I cannot really sit somewhere
or anything I have to wipe seats or I have to take a shower
when I leave the house and the only reason
I don't touch anyone or anything with a handshake or anything
is that it gives me nerve pains
and I need to be okay with that is not the life I need to be living
pain no ma'am no sir.
And my fourth one is all of them combined in one
trying to navigate my life in this new reality I have to live with
and be okay with everything and every aspect
and be okay with telling people this is me
this is what you have to do and comply with it
so I just wanted to tell you guys if you were having an identity crisis
with all these things
allergies have so much to do with who you identify as
and in the spirit of me getting my citizenship and losing
my other identity of being Kenyan which I'm so proud of
I just thinking about different thing of how
my identity has changed and evolved
and I wanted to highlight that it is very hard to have this life
and be who we are but at the end of the day
food doesn't identify you, touching people doesn't identify you
having a rash doesn't identify you, you identify yourself
and who you are in the way you present yourself in the world
and the way you impact another person and positivity
and love, the way you accept people for who they are and don't change them
and be empathetic and having an environment that is okay with them
even though they cannot have fragrances or they cannot have smoke
or whatever. That's your identity and at least
I am not having an identity crisis anymore because
me with a nickel allergy does better or the same
as anyone who doesn't deal with what I deal with
so don't let the world identify you, you identify yourself
so you have a nice day, Loves, hugs and an itch-free life
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét