Bongani: Hello everyone. Yes Bongani here yes and I'm gonna answer some questions from my fans.
Bongani: oh yes. How exciting is that. It all sounds great. Growler: Bongani?
Bongani: Oh um who's that? oh yes Growler Growler: Bongani?
Growler: Um yes can I have a word a second? Bongani: Oh okay
Growler: Hi Bongani yes I just need to have a quick chat with you
Growler: You see um you know you went missing a while ago?
Bongani: Yes. Obviously I was doing some very exciting videos but yes I see what you mean.
Growler: Um yes um well you see you were gone for quite a long time Bongani
Bongani: yeah so? Growler: well well you see um
Growler: You were gone for so long that I started to think you were never coming back you see
Growler: So er I've had to start considering new applicants to replace your position at Stuffed Productions
Bongani: Wait what!
Growler: Well the good news is now you're back so you don't need to worry about your job anymore.
Growler: But um while you were gone I did do some interviews and a couple days ago I actually did hire a new giraffe
Bongani: Wait what? No that's ridiculous. You can't find someone that's as talented as me. That's ridiculous.
Growler: Well I think you and this new Giraffe will get along very nicely so let me introduce you to him
Growler: So Bongani meet Primani. Primani! Primani!
Bongani: Wait Primani?
Primani: Hello! Bongani: Oh oh Primani Oh oh
Growler: Oh oh yes this is Primani yes yes yes. So Bongani meet Primani.
Primani: Hello! My name's Primani. Bongani: What are you doing Primani? What are you doing here?
Growler: Wait do you two know each other? Primani: Yes we do
Bongani: Oh well sorry just a passing acquaintance yes yes yes.
Primani: We're not passing acquaintances. He's my older cousin
Bongani: No! I'm your younger cousin. Primani: No I'm younger and more attractive and more charismatic
Growler: Oh well that's good then. I'm glad we got some family into this yes so anyway
Growler: So Bongani yes this is Primani as you know and what I want you to do is
Growler: I want Primani in this shoot as well. Yes In this video.
Growler: Yes and I basically want you to show Primani the ropes you see Primani: Yes
Bongani: No. That is ridiculous. Um um
Growler: Basically I need to tell you that er Primani is a bit stupid you see
Bongani: So um and he's not very good at learning so I'm not sure I can teach him all of my talents and skills
Growler: I'm sure you can Bongani. Don't be difficult.
Growler: You've been missing for quite a while now so I really need you to do this.
Growler: Otherwise I might have to consider giving the job full time to Primani.
Bongani: No
Growler: And you might be out of a job so get on with it and be quiet.
Bongani: All right. All right I'll show Primani the ropes.
Primani: Oh well you don't need to show me that much. I'm a consummate professional after all.
Primani: But I'd be happy in a video with you at first. That's fine.
Bongani: No you're not. Just be quiet. I'm talking to Growler.
Growler: Alright so I'll leave you two to it but I'll be keeping an eye on you from the sidelines ok
Growler: So make sure you behave yeah Bongani: Yeah alright let's just get on with it.
Primani: Thanks Growler. Bye buddy. Growler: Ok. I'll see you later.
Bongani: Primani. What are you doing here?
Primani: Oh well it's very simple really. I love Stuffed Productions and I've seen all the videos
Primani: and then when you went missing I thought maybe they need a new Giraffe
Primani: and then I saw that Growler had actually posted an advert saying "Giraffe Wanted"
Primani: so I applied for it and then I came and I met everyone and we had a long interview
Primani: I met Hamish and we had some whisky and then I met little Fred and we had some polos and it was really nice
Primani: and then now I am back here again to shoot a video you know
Bongani: You're just trying to take my job from me aren't you? You've always been jealous of me
Primani: No you were missing and I thought that's a great opportunity for a beautiful giraffe like me.
Bongani: Well I'm obviously more beautiful than you and much taller as well.
Bongani: Well no I mean fairly obviously I'm quite a lot taller and more beautiful.
Bongani: No I'm the tallest. I'm as big as a mountain.
Primani: You're as tiny as an apple.
Primani: Or an acorn.
Bongani: Right look whatever look.
Bongani: If we've got to work together then that's fine...
Primani: You've always been tiny just like when we were children.
Primani: Even though I was 3 years old and you were 12 I was taller than you and you were so jealous. [Laughs]
Bongani: Shut up. Look if you're going to work with me, you're my assistant. So you just stand there and don't say a word ok?
Primani: Okay this once. I mean ok I will be your assistant that's fine.
Bongani: Yes good good right. So...
Primani: You're the expert
Bongani: Ok so Growler! Growler! I guess we're ready to get started then.
Growler: Ok. We'll get started in a second.
Bongani: Right hello everyone. Yes Bongani here and today I'm going to answer some questions from my fans. Oh yes oh how exciting
Bongani: Oh yes. This is my special guest Primani yes yes but don't listen to him. He's very insignificant you see.
Primani: Well that's not true at all Bongani. Actually I'm very significant and I'm going to introduce myself now...
Primani: Because that was such a terrible introduction.
Primani: Now. Hello! My name's Primani. I'm the biggest giraffe in the world... Bongani: No
Primani: And I'm Bongani's much younger, more attractive cousin
Bongani: Well that's not true. None of that is...
Bongani: Sorry well you being my cousin is true but the rest of it is a lie. Primani: Oh no.
Bongani: Yes I'm far taller than you are. Primani: No
Bongani: Yes. Obviously I'm as big as a mountain.
Primani: Yeah but you're not taller than I am. Bongani: Yes I am
Primani: No and I'm far more attractive.
Bongani: Primani! Primani: Yes?
Bongani: Be quiet and shut up. Primani: Ok.
Bongani: Ok so the first question is...
Primani: Bongani? Bongani: What?
Primani: What time is lunch?
Bongani: What do you mean what time is lunch?
Primani: That's pretty obvious. Like what time is lunch?
Bongani: I don't know. Half twelve. One o clock. I don't know
Primani: Oh. Well ok. Seems a bit disorganised not to know but alright.
Bongani: But we're in the middle of a shoot here. So...
Primani: Oh ok. I'll be quiet. Yes ok alright.
Bongani: Ok sorry about that. So the first question is "What was your biggest accomplishment?"
Bongani: Oh well I've had many different accomplishments Primani: Really?
Bongani: Yes yes yes but I think the biggest accomplishment of them all was that...
Bongani: I was the lead giraffe in the Lion King. Oh yes yes
Primani: Oh are you sure? The "lead" giraffe?
Bongani: Yes yes yes. I was in all the scenes with the giraffes Primani: Oh right yes
Bongani: And I got loads of lines to say oh yes yes Primani: Um....
Bongani: I mean I got more lines than Simba did. Oh yes Primani: UMMMM...
Bongani: I think it should have been called the Giraffe King.
Primani: Well... No. I'm going to have to clarify for the audience a little bit there Bongani. Bongani: No
Primani: Because you see what really happened was that you were on the set of the Lion King. That's right.
Primani: But you were an extra. An UNPAID as a giraffe in the one circle of life scene
Primani: and all you had to do was sort of dance around. But...
Primani: You were so much of a diva backstage and you got drunk and then Andrew Lloyd Webber came along...
Primani: and he fired you and you never even did a performance.
[Bongani hesitates]
Bongani: Well at least I got cast in the Lion King
Primani: Yeah as an unpaid extra because they were just looking for a volunteer and you happen to be a giraffe
[Bongani hesitates]
Bongani: Still better than you ever done but never mind. Primani: Well that's not true.
Bongani: Nevermind. Whatever. Primani's just lying. Yes yes yes.
Primani: I'm not lying. I'm telling the truth. Bongani: Primani. Primani. Be quiet
Primani: Oh ok sorry yes. I am the assistant today. I will be quiet.
Bongani: Yes that's right. okay so we'll move on and go on to the second question.
Bongani: So the second question was "Who was the most famous person you ever met?"
Bongani: oh well I've met loads of famous famous Primani: Oh is that true? Really?
Bongani: Yes yes Primani: Oh right...
Bongani: Yes but I think the most famous person I ever met...
Bongani: Well I spent the day with Patrick Stewart. Oh yes yes.
Primani: Oh really. The whole day? Bongani: Yes the whole day.
Primani: Was that the day that you two were in court together?
[Bongani hesitates]
Bongani: No. I also have a photo of him. Oh yes yes. Oh a lovely...
Primani: When you were in court because he had to file a restraining order...
Primani: because you kept following him around and taking pictures of him.
[Bongani hesitates]
Bongani: Well no I have a lovely photo of us together.
Primani: Yeah the one that you paid for at the convention. The Star Trek convention that you loved.
Bongani: Yes that one. Yes but that's still a photo.
Primani: And he's not even smiling because you disturbed him by saying how beautiful he was.
Bongani: Well he's very beautiful yes.
Primani: That may be true me you don't go around telling men that they're beautiful
Bongani: Well at least I met Patrick Stewart. I bet you have never met anyone famous.
Primani: Well that's not true at all. I met David Attenborough.
Bongani: Yeah right... Yeah yeah
Primani: I was a PAID actor on one of those BBC phony documentaries about giraffes fighting.
Bongani: Phony documentaries? Right... Ok
Primani: Yes and I got his phone number and I can text him and prove it.
Bongani: Yeah right... I'll have to get you to prove it later but we're getting sidetracked. It's all about me not you.
Primani: Sorry. I'll be quiet again. Bongani: Be quiet and shut up. Right
Primani: But Bongani Bongani: What?
Primani: What will be for lunch?
Bongani: For lunch? I don't know Primani: What will we be having for lunch?
Bongani: Probably leaves or something Primani: Leaves?
Bongani: Yes leaves. I don't know. Primani: I don't like leaves.
Bongani: What do you mean you don't like leaves. You're a giraffe.
Primani: I don't like leaves. I like fish.
Bongani: But you can't like fish. You're a giraffe. You're vegetarian
Primani: No I eat fish. A lot of it. I like it a lot. But me and Growler had a big conversation about fish.
Bongani: I don't know ok. Right right. Move on. Primani: Oh ok.
Bongani: So the final question was "What was your most embarrasing moment?"
Primani: [Laughs]
Bongani: Well I've never had any embarrassing moments at all. Yes yes that's right
Primani: None at all? Bongani: Yes.
Primani: Well I can think of one. Bongani: Not like you. You're an embarrassment.
Primani: I can think of one but it's hardly a moment in fact it was a big catastrophe
Primani: but it was certainly embarrassing for you
Bongani: No no no. I think you must be confusing with yourself yes.
Primani: No no no. Let me tell the story about Bongani's most embarassing story
Primani: So what happened was... Bongani: Quiet.
Primani: He was caught doing horn polishing in the park because a young woman saw him doing it and thought he was doing something rude.
Primani: But the horn polishing is actually okay but horn polishing in the park which is exactly what it sounds like
Primani: And she took a picture of him and she posted it on her MySpace and it went viral
Primani: And everyone thought he was a dirty pervert and the police instituted a law against horn polishing in the park
Bongani: No! That's not true Primani: Well that is true. You're not allowed to horn polish in the park.
Bongani: Well at least I have a law named after me now. Yes yes so...
Primani: Oh yes Bongani's law. Bongani: Yes far more than you ever accomplished.
Primani: Well it's not an accomplishment. Bongani: Well at least I'll have a legacy oh yes.
Primani: Bongani? Bongani: What?
Primani: Is the lunch catered? Or do we have to go out for the leaves?
Bongani: We have to go out for the leaves
Primani: oh dear. Bongani: They're pretty cheap around here.
Primani: Oh but I'm sure Growler would buy me a tin of fish or something.
Bongani: oh I don't know
Primani: You don't know. okay It's not like you haven't been here for the six months or whatever
Primani: But all right I'll just wait and see what's for lunch
Bongani: Be quiet oh for god's sake. Primani: Oh alright Mr Bongani's law.
[Bongani hesitates]
Bongani: whatever. Right okay that's the end of the video everyone so thanks for tuning in
Primani: Yeah thanks. Bongani: Yes and you should disregard everything Primani said.
Primani: Well no I said nothing but truthes.
Bongani: No he hasn't but thanks for watching. Ok bye everyone. Primani: Bye everyone! Bye!
Growler: Cut!
Growler: Hi guys. Yes that was a great show you guys. Well done. Bongani: Oh thank you very much Growler.
Primani: Hi Growler. Growler: Oh yes. Hi Primani. So yes um
Growler: I was really impressed Primani with your performance on that video yes
Primani: Oh thank you very much Growler.
Growler: Yes I really think you bought Bongani's true answers to the fore which was very entertaining. Primani: Yeah Bongani. I was the star.
Bongani: No. I was the star. I was because the whole thing was about me. Primani: No I was. I was.
Primani: But Growler? Growler: Yes Primani?
Primani: I have to say that lunch was quite disappointing. Growler: Sorry um...
Primani: I don't like leaves. Growler: I'm sure we can discuss a more...
Primani: And I don't like going to the shop. Please bring fish next time.
Growler: I'm sure we can discuss an alternative lunch arrangement. Primani: Thank you. Yes.
Growler: Yes yes yes Primani: I was the star! Ha ha
Bongani: Just be quiet. I'll talk to Growler. Primani: Ok.
Growler: No no I actually want to talk to you Primani. Primani: Oh really?
Growler: Yes you see I was REALLY REALLY impressed with your performance today Primani: Oh
Growler: And I was also really impressed with the interview you gave me a few weeks ago Primani: Oh yes!
Growler: I think you've got a real knack for this comedy thing Primani: Oh thank you. Ha ha ha. See?
Bongani: No that is completely untrue but whatever.
Growler: Yes so with all of that in mind...
Growler: I think you should be the star of Stuffed Productions Primani: Oh!
Growler: and I think you should have your own show.
Primani: Oh my god! Growler: How would you feel about that?
Bongani: Oh no Primani: Oh no that always happens.
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