So... this is my first video in English
So... this is my first video in English
I am a little bit nervous I have to admit
But I am a little excited at the same time
I'd say I got enough motivation in the recent few days to start doing it.
I've been thinking about it in the last weeks or months even.
And I was thinking that maybe if this happens and that happens at some point in the future, maybe I'll start recording in english.
But I realised today: "Why wait ah?"
It's not about reaching some moment or reaching some goal in life and then record this moment
and "oh look where I got!"
It's about recording and monitoring the process of living the best life possible and sharing it with other people.
That is my goal.
So I realised today that the sooner I start doing it the better for the idea.
In the recent few weeks especially I have not been doing very well, to put it lightly.
I experienced pretty deep loneliness.
And I used some coping mechanisms such as especially overeating
But also gambling... I lost quite a bit in a local Singaporean casino.
Couple weeks ago... Actually I can say that was over 20 thousand dollars.
The worst part of it was that it didn't really affect my mind because in the past I have been losing and winning much more than that.
So that's like giving a heroin addict a bottle of beer and imagining they would be disturbed by this.
I want to say that - going back to experiencing deep loneliness - at the same time I feel that I had a pretty high level of awareness of what I am experiencing, of what I am going through.
And that made it less painful.
So even in the worst kind of situation, even in the worst kind of feeling I had awareness and understanding of what I'm going through
and what is happening and why it's happening
And there was a great level of peace of mind despite of looking like shit and feeling like shit
The starting point of this is asking myself how I am feeling right now.
And accepting this experience as the truth.
And it's very liberating to understand and to experience the truth as it is without adding excessive thinking and interpretation.
Such as "I'm the worst blah blah blah"
It's all about just feeling how I'm feeling right now and whatever is happening really it's ok to feel that way... at this point.
And then the second question is asking myself "how does it feel to be at my best and how I can get there?"
And I have to admit I have a pretty clear image of how to live the best life possible.
Documenting this process and sharing it with other people is definitely part of it.
I thought that recording in English despite of it being not my native language and being pretty stressed about it
One thing it's a learning process, it's going to unknown and learning about myself, learning about this new experience that I am experiencing right now.
And another thing is not limiting myself to just the Polish audience which I definitely respect
and if I find out how to do this, I'll definitely add Polish subtitles to this
But yeah... I just wanted to make this milestone and record the first video in English
It's definitely something new for me
But I hope I'll continue doing that because
I have a strong belief that this is both beneficial to my life and it can be beneficial to other people.
So it's like a win-win situation and I hope we can both learn from this and get something out of it
Something that will improve the qualities of both my life and your life as a viewer, listener and contributor.
So yeah, thank you for your attention and all the best to you and I hope I'll see you in the next one.
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