Hey guys, it's ProxyFoxy.
Today we are going to take a look at Garen.
The only champion...
that a quadriplegic can play with his eyes closed
and still manage to get a win.
This champion is a perfect pick for you,
if you match the following criteria:
One :
You have no keyboard to play with
because you broke it out of rage.
You fucking crybaby bitch drama queen. : ^)
Two :
You can't get a kill with any champion ever, (not even Yasuo)
because you use your laptop's trackpad
instead of mouse.
Three :
Your mom has recruited
a fugly russian babysitter named
Svetlana (Светлана),
because you are a Catholic Christian family
and Svetlana now has to make sure
you are not masturbating to pics of your mom :^) .
more than once an hour.
Four :
You are one of those kids that
when caught fapping during a math class
by someone,
you maintain strong eye contact to show dominance.
Five :
You sleep with a stuffed bunny toy called
Fufu
since you were a toddler,
so you can fuck the hole you have opened in his leg
without having Svetlana noticing you.
These kinds of inbreds
are like malaria.
An all-time favourite
for pharmaceutical companies
since these kids are the ones ending up with
a three-page psychiatric prescription.
I mean look
There are way more than 100 available champions,
and you...
you product of the evolutionary
scale of a chimp.
You chose to main Garen.
Fuck this, man
I just wish your mom never got to
see the chimpanzee sector in the zoo.
I mean I have my own fair share
of Garen games.
He is disgusting as fuck
you don't even have to try.
But after three,
four,
or maybe even five games,
You have to be like :
"Yea..."
"This champion is for inbreds only"
"I don't want to get any more mastery points on him."
After experiencing too many Garen mains
being like :
"i fuk'd ur m0m, l2play"
I decided to make a video on why I think
this champion should be deleted from League.
Here's a list of three reasons I think Garen mains should
get a lobotomy.
Reason number one :
During laning phase, Garen is the epitomy
of a tumor.
All he does is press Q
then hit you
then spin-to-win like a retard.
His E got buffed so...
whenever he spins-to-win you are guaranteed
to get Rasputined.
Garen mechanics established.
Good job Rito, you fucked up again.
Garen mains will say things
like : "He is hard to master though..."
"he has a lot of mechanics"
"Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na"
Fuck off mate.
You should change the vibration setting
in your buttplug, to low.
The ultra setting
is killing whatever braincells you've got left.
And I'm pretty sure five hours of constant use are enough.
Reason number two :
I think most of you know where this is going ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
At late game, Garen is fucking disgusting.
If he goes full tank you need five people
and a Gromp to kill that retard.
And since he has so much time to deal with you
guess what, he is going to delete someone
with his broken ult.
Worst part about this is
that he will go :
"0mg git r3kt scrubz i fukt ur m0m last nite 8=D"
And you will not be able to say anything about it
because he is winning either way
and you have gotten so depressed
that you don't even want to play anymore.
Before I announce my third and final reason, please...
Go ahead do the right thing.
Share this video with them,
and tell them to skip everything up to this point.
Because my English is going to be challenging for them,
if they see the rest of the video there is
a high chance of them getting a seizure
and 3 degree burns in their skulls so please...
Be nice ( if u want :^D ).
Not matter how much cancer giving
they are still people (they made me say this).
Pause the video.
And share it with them now, I can wait.
Ready?
Reason number three :
You motherfucking inbreds
I hope you get #cocked in the eyesocket
by a grizzly bear on steroids and viagra (aka my dad)
You deserve to get Rasputined 4 times every day
by the horny chimpanzee that impregnated your mom.
I hope Svetlana force feeds you
your overused cum stuffed toy Fufu,
and I hope that by the time you end to middle school
your family finally gets sick of your shit
dips you in a cement block
and tosses you in an industrial sized KFC deep fryer.
Anyway guys, I think my left kidney
shut down from all this cancer.
If you liked this video, please share it with a friend (if you have any you fucking loser)
Subscribe to my channel for more cancervids like this one.
But most importantly, follow me on Facebook
and send me funny League memes
@ProxyFoxyOfficial
I need fap material.
See you next time,
when I will set myself on fire
in a 卐gas station卐
(Watch my previous rant dipshit)

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