Waching daily Jan 1 2019

Um, excuse me.

A little privacy please.

Thank you.

Yo! It's "National Breastfeeding Awareness Month!" I know you've been waiting all

year, but it's finally here! So that means we're going to uncover those udder covers,

and talk about the other use of the word, nursing.

Now if you like the idea of a nurse, devoting his time away from his job to help you live

a better life. Go ahead and hit that subscribe button down there and the little bell next to it.

Or, if you're not watching this on YouTube, go there and make it happen. Because

whether or not you know it, I care about you. Just like I care about every patient I sit

down next to. So you deliver on your side, and subscribe to me, and I'll deliver what

I've got on mine. Deal? Let's jump right in.

Now, nipple tenderness aside, this can be a very sensitive topic. So I want you to know

if you have any strong religious, cultural, or any kind of belief against breast feeding,

then you do you "boo boo." But I'm here to give you an easy way to

remember the possible benefits of breastfeeding. Based on studies, research, data, and all

the **** I sifted through, so you didn't have to. With this simple mnemonic.

A B C D E F G H, I think I might breastfeed.

Thank you, thank you. You're too kind. I'm here all week.

Okay, the "A" is for allergies and immunity. That boob juice is more than just milk. It's

an immunologically active substance. Meaning it's got antibacterial enzymes, anti-inflammatory

properties, cells that fight infection. All sorts of goodies that could help your little

love bug fight off all the gunk that's in our world.

Next up is "B" for bite. Studies have shown that breastfeeding most likely reduces

the chance of malocclusion, which is bad alignment of your teeth or jaw. Trying to correct that

years down the line, might require jaw wiring, surgery, or braces. That's risky, or expensive

things which fortunately, I wouldn't know anything about.

Next up is "C" and that's for cancer. Okay, yes, the big "C" that no one wants to see.

Okay, Moms. You can reduce your risk of ovarian, endometrial, and breast cancer,

all through breastfeeding. That should be enough right there, but if it isn't, your

baby might appreciate you maybe lowering the risks of childhood cancers, like leukemia

and lymphoma. Cancer is one of the worst things in our world, that has affected almost everyone

in one way or another, and there's some promising research out there that I suggest you explore.

The "D" is for developmental. Visual function,

hearing abilities, behavior, cognitive development. Basically everything you want them to get

a passing score on. Even the slightest bit of research suggesting this, I'd take my

bra off right now and get it started. If I could only get the…

I've done this at least three times. "E" is for economical. Breastfeeding is free!

The powers that be, essentially have mind control over most of us, so if they really

wanted you to spend money on that first year postpartum, they'd scare you into doing it.

But no, extremely reputable organizations like the "American Academy of Pediatrics,"

the "American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists," and the "World Health

Organization," are recommending that you pocket the money you'd be spending on formula,

and use what you were born to use. The average savings of breastfeeding a child, is about

a grand per year. A thousand dollars! That's like eight years of Netflix! That's like

230 pumpkin-spiced lattes, girl treat yourself! The "F" is for functionality, and this

one is for you moms. Getting you back, to who you were, before you could barely walk,

got depressed, and started eating for two, and sometimes three. So when you breastfeed,

you secrete oxytocin, prolactin, and neuroendocrine peptides. Okay, all of these speed up the

recovery process, and can help you deal with the stressors that come along with being responsible

for a brand new human being, every moment of your life from now on!

Studies have also shown less child neglect and abuse, and an increase in mother-baby bonding.

How sweet is that? Okay, I'm guessing half of you are thinking, "Yeah, yeah, what about this

amorphic figure that used to get my partner all hot and bothered?" Well, if you haven't guessed it,

studies have shown that postpartum weight loss, increases with breastfeeding, and good nutrition and exercise.

The "G" is for gastrointestinal, and that

means everything from their lips to their ****. Your milk can work wonders on their

GI tract in way too many ways for me to go through in this video, but one that's really

worth mentioning is the decreased risk of "NEC," or necrotizing enterocolitis in

premature infants. Which is a disease of the intestines that causes the bowel linings to

perforate, and stool to empty out into the baby's gut. This can cause serious complications,

including death, and is one of the most common gastrointestinal emergencies in the neonatal ICU.

The "H" is for human milk, and this is just to remind you that breastfeeding is only

human… and dogs… and cows. My point is that it's natural. Now, I had a patient

once tell me that breastfeeding is weird and gross, which one, made me think she's never

seen anything on the internet, and two, made me think about our ***** up cultural norms,

and I kind of understood where she was coming from. But think about it, is donating blood gross?

It could save a life. Is swapping saliva when you're kissing gross?

Well, maybe, but either they're hot, or you love them, so, **** it.

My point is our bodies are made up of unbelievably complex designs, and one of those designs is to naturally nourish your

child, extremely effectively. Think about taking advantage of it.

Plus, there are all sorts of products out there that specifically designed to make breastfeeding

more easily, and sometimes fashionably integrated into your uniquely developed lifestyle.

Lastly the "I" is for infancy, remember infancy covers age zero to one, and

is widely recommended that you breastfeed for at least one full year. The first half,

exclusively with breast milk, and in that second half start introducing those solids.

A B C D E F G H, I think you might breastfeed.

Now remember, I am in no way telling you not to formula feed your child.

Women. It's your body. It's your baby, it's your family, it's your life. It's your choice.

I'm just giving you information I've learned about the elixir of the gods you've got

brewing in those breasts! Now if you want to share your experiences,

give advice, or want another video on tips and tricks for breastfeeding from specialists

I know. Or any other video for that matter. Drop a comment below, just don't forget

to hit that subscribe button, and the little bell too. I'm clocking out.