By the end of this video you will walk away with 10 amazing tips on how to be more social
as an introvert by discussing 10 ideas from this book, "How to talk to anyone" by author
Leil Lowndes.
We're starting right now.
Tip number one use communication emphasis on you.
Whenever possible use the word you instead of I.
In this book they discussed that therapists have calculated that mental instituted patients
use the word I and me 12 times as much as the average person.
Think about the word anxiety.
I is in the center isn't it?
The more do you think about other people, just like my intro I could have said I have
10 ideas that I have really helped me but instead I said you'll walk away with 10 ideas
that will help you.
Get in the habit of using you instead of I and this will help you be more sociable.
Tip number two use a flooding smile.
We have heard that it's great to smile and it is but look at these two different smiles.
Hey it's Michael it's really nice to meet you, which you can do every time you meet
someone, you just keep that smile on your face and people see right through it it's
fake because you're using that smile for everyone.
Now check out the flooding smile.
You take a second AND make eye contact, identify the person, nice to meet you.
Try this use that second delay just to recognize their face and then smile and watch what happens.
Tip number three, use carrier pigeon kudos.
This is pretty much just positive gossip.
Whenever you hear something positive from someone, make a habit of sharing that information
with that person directly.
Here's one example here, when I started out as a pharmacist I was floating around.
I worked at 25 different pharmacies, I was still learning the ropes and I asked my supervisor,
who is someone I should follow?
My supervisor gave me a name, this one woman and when I worked with her again I said I
asked my supervisor who I should listen to, who I should get advice from and they said
you really understand your stuff.
This woman was glowing the entire day just felt so good.
Whenever you hear something good about someone, share it with that person.
Tip number four big shots don't slobber.
It's so easy maybe you come across someone you find very attractive and your just almost
drooling, you're just or maybe you see a celebrity you're like oh I can't wait to get their autograph
but if you just treat them like a normal person and keep your cool you'll find that you have
a better chance of connecting with that person.
Don't slobber, they're just people, just like you and me.
Tip number five, ask people how they spend most of their time.
I know this sounds like semantics but when you go up to someone new, you ask them what
do you do?
The only issue with that is that about 80% of people don't like their jobs and what may
happen is when you ask that question, is that they start talking about their job that disappoints
them but if you ask them what do you do with most your free time?
Then that frees them up to talk about everything that they do in the week.
168 hours, they even might spend 40 hours doing something they load but then if you
ask them what they do with most of their free time, they're going to talk about their passion
most likely.
It's a little shift but it will work tremendous.
Tip number six always wear a whatsit.
This is pretty much just wearing something that sparks curiosity just for people to look
at you and say what's it.
Here's an example?
I sometimes go to the gym and I wear this shirt.
Teddy Swolsevelt, it's a pun right, it's the President of the United States but he's a
real muscular guy but when I wear this I have guys that come up to me and say it's funny.
Another example is I wear bow ties and if I go to an event sometimes I'll wear a flashy
one like.
This one right here is lime green with pink flamingos on it and people will come up to
me and say that's interesting tell me more about this, where'd you get it and also another
example is with these bracelets.
I wear inspirational quotes.
One of my favorites is from Teddy Roosevelt.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
I wear that bracelet people come up to me and starts a great conversation because it's
a great quote don't you think?
So always wear a what's it.
Tip number seven, the swiveling spotlight.
This is very similar to communication.
Using you and focusing on the other person instead of yourself but quite literally imagine
that there's a spotlight on you when you're talking about yourself.
If you make a habit of directing that spotlight to the other person they will like you so
much more and if you're shy and introverted, when you're focusing on the other person you
won't really matter about you because you're making them the star.
Take that spotlight off yourself and turn it on the other person.
Tip number eight, echo the emo.
This is pretty much just match the emotion of the other person.
If you're looking to connect with someone, the way to do it, is to be on the same emotional
level.
For example I've never seen Game of Thrones, just relax I haven't seen it if you're a huge
fan I'll get around to it but I know some people that are really jazzed up enthusiastic
about it and they'll say hey Game of Thrones is coming on tomorrow night oh I'm so thrill.
And again I don't watch it but I'll be oh yeah that's so great, yeah yeah I'm just matching
their emotion just to connect with them and same when someone's bummed out.
They're having a bad day if you could just kind of lower yourself to that level just
for a moment you can connect with them and then you could lift them up.
Tip number 9 echoing, we just talked about matching your emotions with echo the emo.
This tip right here echoing is matching the language people use.
For example if I'm around someone and they're saying bro a lot, dude a lot, man a lot, I'm
going to start saying bro, dude and man because that's their language and when we talk the
same that's when we connect and if you're introverted and you're struggling to be social
with someone just try to match the language the other person is using and you'll find
that they'll like you.
And the last tip is hello old friend, it's amazing what your imagination can do, any
type of scenario that you're trying to meet someone new.
You're feeling nervous you could just picture that person is like your old friend that you
haven't seen in years.
Maybe a friend in high school, you're best buds but you kind of drifted apart, just take
a moment and visualize that you're actually friends with them and then introduce yourself,
use that flooding smile that we talked about and the interaction will go like gangbusters.
Trust me just visualize that they're an old friend and you'll treat them that way.
My friend I hope these ten ideas work for you and keep in mind that this book has 92
ways how to talk to people.
These were just 10.
I highly recommend this book, I'll leave a link in the description below that you can
purchase this.
My friend I hope you enjoyed this video and if you want more videos like this to bring
out your best self, subscribe to my channel today and hit the bail notification so you
don't miss anything.
This is your friend Unks inspiring you to learn laugh and love hope you enjoyed this
video and I'll see you in the next one.
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