In politics and especially in diplomacy, equilibrium is everything: if you speak too low, your enemy will stop respecting you.
If you talk too loudly you may be cowered. This was not any country, it was the USA, out most powerful adversary.
Our relations with the USA were cold and tense, so the next two weeks were an important test for me.
We were very worried about how they would receive us. What if they discriminated us?
What if they omitted on purpose some ceremony that they did for every other foreign leader?
They didn't consider us human beings. We deserved no honour, we were a country to be pissed on.
At the airport everything was shiny and new. It was done with great detail and refinement.
Everything that should be done in honour of a head of state was done. I was satisfied.
I would like to ask the authors of this story, when they were inventing it, what did they want to achieve? To embarrass me?
That's why they were laughing. The Russians have a proverb: "he who laughs last laughs hardest."
So I would like to warn the liars to be careful, that they might regret their made up stories.
But I will not respond to their provocations, I will not take revenge with offensive words. In the end the truth will always triumph over lies.
In our country the government pays for these banquets. But here it's the people who pay to attend, they buy tickets like some theatre play.
It reminds me of my childhood. When I was a teenager, every 14th September there was a fun fair which attracted all kinds of people to its zoo and circus.
For half a rouble you could see a real elephant. Everyone would go to see the elephant, it is all they had to do.
In the US it is the same, but instead of an elephant the people come to see me: a Russian bear.
They are probably asking themselves: what does he look like?
Does he know how to behave in a civilised society? Does he know how to hold a knife and fork?
Your story has caused me an excellent impression and I would like to express my utmost respect for you.
But I am not really that impressed. Do you know who I am? I started working as soon as I could walk.
By the time I was 15 I had a long trajectory of jobs. First I was a shepherd for capitalists.
Then, I worked in factories. And who am I now? Now I am the Prime Minister of the great Soviet Union!
The States is a great country and the Americans are a great people. I am invited here by your President so I am a guest of this wonderful country, and I am very happy to be here.
But before I arrived here, there was an activity plan sent to me, but now they tell me no, no you cannot go to see…What's it called? Disneyland.
Yes, Disneyland, they say I can't go, listen to this, because they say they cannot ensure my safety.
Let me ask you something, what is wrong with that place? Is there some kind of epidemic? Have bandits taken over the place?
I truly wish to know that place, but now I can't, and this is the situation in which they have put me, I don't understand.
I thought you had everything under control here, not that the visit would consist of being stuck in a bulletproof car, sweating in your boiling heat until I'm completely dried out.
I thought I could walk freely among the American people. But now they say this is impossible, and all I can do is express my disappointment. Thank you for your attention.
During my visit to Hollywood, they invited me to see a Can-Can show.
During the dance the girls would show their bums, not entirely, with underwear but even so.
I would say it was a very spicy film. We Russians were not used to this kind of film, we could say it was for adults only.
Then photos were taken of me with those girls. Someone told one of the girls to pull her skirt up, higher, higher.
I think he wanted an improper photo of me. It was a very unsoviet thing to do.
. I think he wanted to degrade me. Look at Khrushchev, coming to Hollywood and taking photos with girls who act with such frivolity.
During our conversations in Camp David, Mr Eisenhower told me repeatedly: I would like to arrive at an agreement on these subjects.
And I would answer: Mr. President, that would also make me very happy.
But I was aware of the difficulty of reaching an agreement. Our country's positions were diametrically opposed.
Simply, the conditions were not right to agree on practically anything. To be honest, I never believed I would arrive in the US, and all the problems of the world would be solved.
Moscow was not built in a day. These things take time. We went to see and be seen, and this is what happened.
My god, and after this incident, Eisenhower wants to come here. Does he not understand anything?
You do not shit where you eat, the American president has defecated on the Soviet Union, and now he wants to come and have dinner with me?
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