Let's face it: modern life comes with its mishaps.
Video games, on the other hand, offer virtual worlds, where fantastic forests are splinter-free
and biffing it on the double diamond doesn't mean staying off the slopes for six months.
Sometimes, though, even video games can be hazardous to your health.
In fact, video games offer tons of unique ways to get bruised, battered, and busted
up.
Let's strap on our bike helmets, wrap our tennis elbows, and check out some of the most
infamous times video games sent players to the hospital.
The one with the super mutants
Who knew Friends' Chandler Bing was such a hardcore gamer?
Apparently, iconic actor Matthew Perry is a big fan of the Fallout series, and he's
got the battle scars — and needle punctures — to prove it.
During an April 2009 interview on The View, Perry came clean about his obsession with
the post-apocalyptic RPG series, admitting ...
"I had to go.
I played Fallout 3 so often that I had to go to a hand doctor."
"I did, I had to get injections in my hand."
Sounds like he could've used a stimpak, but whatever his doc gave him probably worked
wonders.
That's not where this odd tale ends, though.
Appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that same month, Perry told a similar story.
By this time, the star brought more than just a cautionary tale — he also donated
a signed Xbox 360 and a copy of his favorite game to DeGeneres' eBay-driven charity initiative.
And It looks like this act of kindness bolstered Perry's karma.
Engadget reported that publisher Bethesda and developer Obsidian took notice of the
actor's compassion — and his ultra-fandom — and so they tapped him to voice the weasley
Chairman bigwig Benny in 2010's Fallout: New Vegas.
Although Perry might've just gotten lucky, we seriously doubt it.
After all, …
"Luck is for losers, baby.
Someone pulled strings."
Tech-knuckle foul
Serious basketball players had better keep their paws in topnotch condition.
After all, their careers ride on their ability to pass, shoot, dribble, and dunk.
So it likely came as a bit of a surprise to both his fans and fellow athletes when Joel
Berry II, a point guard for the North Carolina Tar Heels, started off the 2017 season with
a protective brace around his hand.
If you're thinking he sustained an injury during practice or at the gym, you'd be wrong.
"He and Theo and one of our managers are playing a little video game and he loses, so he punches…
punches the door."
Yes, after losing a heated multiplayer match of NBA 2K18 to his friend and fellow Tar Heel
Theo Pinson, Berry did what any gamer worth his salt would do — he took his rage out
on an inanimate object.
Specifically, he punched his door, catching one of his fingers on the frame and breaking
a bone in his hand.
But Berry took his stint with sore loserdom as a learning experience, joking that, "The
door was doing just fine for the last three weeks … " while his damaged digit kept him
off of the court.
Door 1, Berry 0.
We eagerly await the rematch.
Wii can't move our arms
"Wii would like to play."
Nintendo's Wii console revolutionized interactive home entertainment, introducing an athletic
video game experience to players both young and old.
It also ushered in a whole slew of new gaming-related injuries collectively called "Wii-itis."
In 2007, Reuters reported the story of Dr. Julio Bonis, a family physician who first
described the condition in a letter to the New England Journal of Medicine.
Bonis compared a collection of symptoms he began to suffer after long hours playing Wii
Sports to those of tennis elbow, which, according to the Mayo Clinic, is categorized by pain
and difficulty gripping objects.
The doctor treated himself with ibuprofen and "complete abstinence from playing Wii
video games."
Sounds pretty severe to us, but you're the professional, Doc!
Guitar Hero hang-ups
Let's examine the tale of Joel "Zoom-Zoom" Zumaya former pitcher for the Detroit Tigers.
Known for launching fastballs at over 100 MPH, Zumaya had a history of injuries wrought
by reckless behavior.
His most infamous injury, however, had nothing to do with baseball — and everything to
do with Activision's wildly popular rock god sim Guitar Hero.
Back in 2006, Zumaya was mysteriously sidelined for the first three games in the American
League Championship Series.
Detroit Tigers president Dave Dombrowski eventually disclosed the reason for the pitcher's bad
arm.
Zumaya had injured his wrist playing Guitar Hero on the PlayStation 2, and his arm had
become inflamed as a result.
Eventually, Zumaya gave up the game and returned to the pitcher's mound for a few more years
— until he suddenly tore an ulnar collateral ligament and left America's pastime behind
for good.
No word yet on whether or not a plastic guitar was involved in his career-ending injury.
Blinded by the light
In October 2017, Channel NewsAsia reported that a 21-year-old woman lost partial sight
in her right eye after marathoning infamous mobile game Honour of Kings.
While casual players likely don't have to worry about going blind from playing a video
game, the anonymous finance worker was among the game's most hardcore fanatics.
In fact, she spent almost all of her free time duking it out in arena-style battles,
devoting entire days off to the League of Legends-like app.
It was exactly this dedication that led to her experiencing extreme eye strain which,
in turn, caused her to develop retinal artery occlusion, or "eye stroke."
Doctors attempted to repair the damage she'd done to her vision, though there's no word
on whether or not they succeeded.
Either way, one thing's for sure: When it comes to gaming, moderation is key — even
for the toughest, most hardcore gamers.
Brokémon
"You've been selected to receive the sneak peak about a phenomenon called Pokemon!
A hit tv show, a Game Boy game, and loads of other cool things that are about to take
America by storm!"
Ever since it burst onto the Nintendo Game Boy in the mid-90s, Pokémon has captured
the hearts of both kids and adults, putting them in the sneakers of Pocket Monster trainers
on a quest to be …
"...the very best, like no one ever was."
So when Niantic released the long-awaited Pokémon Go, an augmented reality game that
let players catch 3D Pokémon on their smartphones, fans went wild.
For the first time in gaming history, each player was the protagonist of his or her own
journey.
And for the first time in gaming history, the scrapes, bumps, and bruises weren't digital
— they were real.
"This is her 15-year-old daughter, Autumn Deiseroth, recovering from injuries, after
she was hit by a car."
From Pokéholics sustaining fractures and broken bones to distracted drivers slowing
down for Digletts instead of yield signs, the injuries caused by — or, at least, blamed
on — Pokémon Go were innumerable.
And we thought Team Rocket was scary!
(evil laughs)
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