10 reasons, Why do People Lie in Relationships? in this video, i'll show you also,7 Ways to
stop lying.
welcome to lifestyle therapy channel, stay tuned.
No.1, they lies because they wants to impress you.
Lying to make oneself look more impressive, is the most pervasive motivation for lying
in dating and romantic relationships.
The root of the problem, is that most men and women don't have great self-esteem.
They often feel that they aren't very desirable or appealing physically, or they don't see
themselves as particularly charming, intelligent or interesting.
To make up for their self-perceived inadequacies, Some people thrive on drama, making an exaggerated
lie seem more than just a little alluring.
People lie about where they've traveled, who they've slept with, and what celebrity
sightings they've had all to make themselves seem more interesting.
No.2, Telling the truth feels like giving up control.
Often, people tell lies because they are trying to control a situation, and exert influence
toward getting the decisions, or reactions they want.
The truth can be "inconvenient", because it might not conform to their narrative.
No.3, The Compassionate lie.
Sometimes the motivation to lie, is altruistic you don't want your partner to get hurt.
In this instance, you're not protecting your partner from something that you've done, that
might be hurtful to him or her.
Rather, you're trying to shield your partner from something you discovered, e.g., you overheard
a neighbor say, he doesn't like your wife, or an opinion that you believe would be upsetting.
your wife asks if you like her new haircut, and despite her uncanny resemblance to one
of the Three Stooges, you respond with a definitive, "I love it!".
No.4, Insecurities.
One study done by Scientific American shows, that 90% of people lie on their online dating
profile.
People often lie to cover up insecurities they have.
For example, most women lie about their weight on dating profiles.
The men lie about their height, and how much money they make.
You may lie about your job, your education, or your relationship with your family members,
all because of some insecurity you hold.
No.5, Manipulation lies. can be lies that omit important information,
or create a false impression, for the purpose of letting the liar achieve a goal, that would
be prevented if the truth were revealed.
Manipulative lies strip others' abilities to have influence on a situation.
"I'm going to stop at Jane's after work", when the truth is that, I plan to spend time
with an ex-lover, is an example of a manipulation.
No.6, They don't want to disappoint you.
It may not feel like it to you, but people who tell lie after lie, are often worried
about losing the respect of those around them.
They want you to like them, be impressed, and value them.
And they're worried that the truth might lead you to reject or shame them.
No.7, They lies to avoid something.
Your date may lie because he or she is trying avoid any number of things, a kiss or sexual
activity, a date or spending more time together, or meeting your friends or family, among other
possibilities.
Most people, in general, don't love confrontations, so lying as a form of avoidance makes intuitive
sense, even though it is a problem that hurts many relationships.
No.8, Lying about family.
Why do people lie?
Obviously, you haven't met their families yet!
Many people lie about family members, to avoid embarrassment or out of protection.
Often people lie about parents who have abandoned them, addicts in the family, or they lie about
sickness or mental challenges a family member might have.
They even lie about the reason why they don't communicate with family.
No.9, The Spiteful lie.
In this case, lies are used as weapons to hurt someone.
Schoolchildren often do this, fabricating rumors that are designed to put down others.
In social settings such as school, this is sometimes done to ostracize someone from a
peer group, while solidifying the liar's position in the group.
When this occurs in a marriage or relationship, it's usually when anger is at an all-time
high, or the relationship is being dissolved.
It's less common for this type of lie, to occur while the couple is committed to a future
together, although some couples do report "fighting dirty", and saying hurtful, untrue
things while they argue.
If you've lied to your partner recently, feel the urge to lie, or if lying has been a problem
for you in general, begin to question your motivation for spinning these tales.
No.10, Because they're cheating.
Academic survey researcher Tom Smith reports, 15%-18% of married couples have affairs during
their marriage.
With the digital footprints we all leave behind us, in the digital snow it's pretty hard
to get away with cheating these days.
Even if your partner finds out months after you start, they're going to find out eventually.
Still, cheating is one of the biggest and most devastating secrets in a relationship.
Being betrayed by someone you love, is one of the biggest hurdles anyone ever faces in
life.
Lies lead to broken families, loss of income, and loss of trust.
And the thing about trust, is that it's easy to give to someone you love, but as soon
as you lose it, it's nearly impossible to repair.
Even if you really want to.
7 Ways to stop lying.
The benefits of lying may be several, but it all comes down to this.
Do you like the person you've become?
Do you like lying to the ones who love you, and trust you with all their heart?
If you genuinely want to stop lying, and transform your life into a happy, guilt free and less
panicky existence, here's what you need to do.
No.1, Understand the fact.
Realize that the lying is getting out of control.
You don't like the fact that you lie so much to everyone, so why lie?
No.2, Have self respect.
Most liars don't have self respect.
They believe that the truth would make them appear bad.
Believe in yourself and respect yourself.
You'll become a better person, and refrain from doing anything that may force you to
lie.
No.3, Have moral principles.
If you have strong principles and follow them, you won't have to lie to anyone.
Be your own judge, and avoid indulging in something that you have to lie about.
If you have to lie about it, you do know that whatever you're doing is wrong, so why do
it in the first place?
No.4, If you're wrong, you're wrong.
Learn to accept your fault, instead of letting someone else take the blame.
Sometimes, the consequences can feel better than the guilt.
No.5, Don't answer too fast.
It's alright to take time to think.
Compulsive liars don't think before they talk.
Lies just flow out, even before they make up their mind about whether they want to lie,
or tell the truth.
No.6, Put yourself in the other person's shoes.
Would you like to be lied to all the time?
Wouldn't you feel hurt, if you knew that your partner is constantly lying through their
teeth, for no reason at all?
No.7, Talk to someone you trust.
Tell a trustworthy person to avoid judging you, and tell them your deepest secrets.
If you can't brave up to it, do it on paper, with an anonymous friend, or share it in the
comments below.
You'll feel better about yourself.
Understanding why we lie in our relationships, and developing the necessary self-esteem,
or communications skills to be truthful, are key to stopping the behavior.
If you or your partner need help to Rebuilding Trust in your
Relationship
Most people say they lie, to avoid causing negative feelings, sidestep conflict, and
to escape hurting or insulting a partner.
But are these reasons altruistic, or are they just the result of a person, not being able
to handle conflict or unpleasantness?
Or is it because they do not have the skills, to communicate about a touchy subject?
Or do they feel excited by deceiving someone?
Do they want to hang onto a less than satisfying relationship, but don't want to put in the
effort to make it better?
Some people lie because they believe, that no one can like or love them the way they
are.
Deception can trick couples into thinking they are keeping a relationship going, or
in some sense lubricating it, but this often means they are neglecting to develop much-needed
communication skills, good intimacy, and solid trust.
For more infomation >> schnitt video wipo - Duration: 2:13. 
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